#蕭叔叔的英國文學課【世紀賤男的分手信】
分手，可以分得好tactful，也可以分得好無品。
Jane Austen小說《Sense and Sensibility》裡的靚仔男角John Willoughby正是無品的表表者。
話說賤男Willoughby同女主角Marrianne一見面即互生情愫，曖昧數月，Marrianne同埋家人已認定賤男為未婚夫。點知賤男遊倫敦回來後翻臉不認人，並寫了這封冷血的分手信。嚴格來說不是分手信，因為他不承認由始至終有過什麼關係，一切只是Marrinne「諗多咗」。下面是書信原文，附上蕭叔叔的意譯。
MY DEAR MADAM,
I have just had the honour of receiving your letter, for which I beg to return my sincere acknowledgments. I am much concerned to find there was anything in my behaviour last night that did not meet your approbation; and though I am quite at a loss to discover in what point I could be so unfortunate as to offend you, I entreat your forgiveness of what I can assure you to have been perfectly unintentional.
大意：你琴晚發咩癲，我到宜家都R爆頭。
I shall never reflect on my former acquaintance with your family in Devonshire without the most grateful pleasure, and flatter myself it will not be broken by any mistake or misapprehension of my actions.
My esteem for your whole family is very sincere; but if I have been so unfortunate as to give rise to a belief of more than I felt, or meant to express, I shall reproach myself for not having been more guarded in my professions of that esteem.
大意：一切都係因為你諗多咗，不過令你誤會我都有d唔好意思。
That I should ever have meant more you will allow to be impossible, when you understand that my affections have been long engaged elsewhere, and it will not be many weeks, I believe, before this engagement is fulfilled.
大意：我一早就心有所屬，你無理由唔知。
It is with great regret that I obey your commands of returning the letters, with which I have been honoured from you, and the lock of hair, which you so obligingly bestowed on me.
大意：你叫我還番d信同埋束頭髮畀你，我會照做。
I am, dear Madam,
Your most obedient
humble Servant,
JOHN WILLOUGHBY.
大家留意冰冷、formal、極端有禮的文筆，正是Willoughby冷血的表現。
賤男們學野。
蕭叔叔
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