what is my baby doing at 5 months pregnant的八卦，Yahoo名人娛樂都在討論

KALAU DAH TAK TAHAN SAKIT LAIN KALI TAK PAYAH MENGANDUNG!

Luluh hati bila lalui saat mengandung tapi suami tak faham. Masa saya tak dapat mengandung lebih setahun dulu, suami saya minta sangat sangat nak anak. Sekarang saya dah mengandung, dia biar saya.

Kadang saya muntah & loya pun dia tak kisah sebaliknya dia main game.
...Continue ReadingIF YOU CAN ' T HOLD THE HURT NEXT TIME IT WILL NOT SUCK!

Melted my heart when I went through when I conceiving but my husband does not understand. When I couldn't contain more years, my husband asked for a very much son. Now I'm pregnant, he let me.

Sometimes I throw up and feel nauseous he doesn't care otherwise he plays games.

The time of vomiting in this toilet only Allah knows what kind of thing. I feel like this intestine, I close my eyes because I can't accept this pain, with all kinds of food suddenly come out with my nose and throw up, when I want to inhale or I'm afraid..

After vomiting I will definitely longlai & go into the room with weak & want to sleep... my husband is still playing games... he never asked anything even though he knew & heard that I just threw up & weak.

These are some of the pain I've been through for 8 months of pregnancy. I'm going through a very bad nausea. The smell of rice can't, the waist always hurts until it's hard to sleep. I always try to rub the back of my body with hope to reduce pain, unfortunately my hands are not here because the stomach is already big.
.
.
There was a day that I asked my husband to help me out because the pain was different... my husband was bouncy immediately..
.
.
"You make it up... next time if you can't stand this pain... it's not bad to be busy containing again"
.
.
My heart melted that time sis.... I want to complain about my husband, if my husband also say like this I keep silent.
.
.
Very sad when I go through all of this. I look at other people pregnant, it's fun that my husband loves me, but I ask for a little massage and my husband is thinking like this.
.
.
Maybe this is my part sis.... please pray for my child not to take my sad nature - lin...

🍃🍃🍃🍃

Lin, among the followers of @[151329642013884:274:9bulan10hari] who experienced pressure throughout the pregnancy. He shared a lot with the author because he tried to hurt himself because he was too stressed.

For all husbands, know it... it's very dangerous when your wife faces this situation. In silence he is not only able to hurt himself but your children.

Give the best service to your wife because she is the trust of God for you, have mercy on her.. Respect her feelings.
.
.
Good, when talking about back pain during pregnancy, this pain is like some are pressing on the whole waist & body...

Sometimes crying and trying to rub the back rub with the hope of being relieved of body pain even though the truth is not until the hand. Prayer in my mouth does not break up begging for this pain to go away...
.
.
Even though it's painful, know it's normal when it's through pregnancy & the reward is promised for pregnant women and for husbands, there's also your role at this time.
.
.
It is estimated that 3/4 women are pregnant through this back pain.
.
.
But there's a way for mommy to reduce this discomfort...
.
.
Mommy might face back pain due to doing heavy activity activities just like before pregnant or maybe due to the development of the baby in the content.
.
.
Back pain while outside of pregnancy may be treated by taking medicine & massage. Different from back pain treatment during pregnancy.
.
.
For Mommy who is ready to fit before pregnant, mommy may have less face pain in the back bone than an inactive woman.
.
.
For mothers who are pregnant & having back pain..
These tips insyaallah help reduce mommy's back pain =)
.
Tips to hurt the back pain of pregnant mothers.
📍 Exercise: if mommy is not used to exercise before, start a workout slowly. Pelvis Floor Exercise and stomach exercise can reduce mommy's stress. The way, mommy makes a position to crawl and stand behind mommy. Take a breath and when you breath, try to exhale for 5 to 10 seconds without holding your breath & without moving the back of mommy.
.
.
📍 massage - believe or not massage can make the wife feel more comfortable than left her to hurt the pain of herself. For husband, make sure you massage the back of your wife before going to bed.
Remember, the sequence is only to relieve pain & massage in the stomach & don't be too strong.
.
.
📍 Posture - make sure mommy Tuesday when sitting, wake up, stand, sleep & do daily activities. If mommy had to do a job while sitting for a long time, make sure mommy sits in the ayas soft cushion shaped ring.. and sometimes wake up and walk so that the blood flow goes smoothly. When you want to lift something, mommy needs to avoid lifting something heavy.
.
.
📍 swimming - when you talk about swimming, there are many women who still can't accept the most safe type of exercise for pregnant mothers. Say Mommy doesn't know how to swim, only mommy cling to her husband's neck while kicking water for 20 minutes (in between make sure to stop resting for a while & resume).
.
.
📍 ain bath - a little warm bath water mixed with fragrance herbs can make pregnant mothers feel more comfortable & comfortable than to reduce pressure on the muscle muscle and the back of mommy.
.
.
💊 like share & tag pregnant mothers so they can avoid through this back pain.

💊 Copyright @[1416700617:2048:Nazira Nazir] for @[151329642013884:274:9bulan10hari]. Not allowed to copy paste!Translated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

从老公的角度看试管婴儿疗程

当一对夫妻要做 #IVF试管疗程时，做丈夫的应该用什么态度来面对？常常有网友告诉我说，我的老公精子不好，可是他还是不能戒烟戒酒，好不配合。要知道，不孕症不只是女人的责任，男人也是有责任。这篇文章，是以男人的角度出发，里面分享身为丈夫应该如何帮助太太一起度过疗程，文章是英文内容，是奥莉爸爸写的，奥莉爸不会中文。分享给大家😊

IVF Journey, A Husband’s Perspective

Hi all, before reading further I would like to say this is NOT an instruction or tips for IVF and hopefully readers will understand my poorly written English. This is my journey as a father of the IVF baby girl. Why am I sharing all this? It is because my wife had a Facebook page of her IVF journey at https://facebook.com/ivfjourney2015/ and she told me that majorities (not all but most) feedback indicate husband not supportive enough to commit into a journey of IVF. I’m not a true supportive husband either, least I made up my mind to make it happen.

Let’s start with “Why IVF?”
We went for a fertilization test and results with;
Husband: Teratospermia (Human language, sperm is weak for fertilization process)
Wife: Unexplained infertility (I think this is easy to understand, there is for the confirming reason for this result and we don’t go for further test after it because it will consumes too much time and money)

We married and planned to have children late 2011, both our ages were 37 in 2015 because of late marriage. My wife introduced IVF because she does not want to give up and feels regretful in future and so do I. Maybe because I did too many regretful things in the past, now I do not want this happened to my wife. At least I do it better then ignoring it.

Preparation for IVF
Financially, I know it will involve amount of 20k – 30k “Ringgit Malaysia” in the whole process depending on the situation and this is only one chance for me. I don’t have the money for a second attempt because I need to allocate funds for delivery if success.

Mentally, I do some studies/research on IVF. The whole journey took 50 days and in one of the process my wife needs to do a self-injection daily. I quickly asked my wife “Daily injection?! Do I need to fetch you to clinic daily to do this?” She answered “No, we need to do this ourselves”. A final question from me going to be “How?!” After we sat down and discuss, we comes into conclusion and I will do the injection for her. This was the most painful and nervous moment I ever experience by poking a needle to my wife’s belly EVERYDAY!

Lifestyle, 6 months earlier. My wife told me the NO’s, NO alcohol NO smoking NO midnight wandering NO stress. I said, I will fly up to the skies like butterfly if I able to do all the NO’s. It’s like a mission impossible. How can a man like me not go out to social with friends without alcohol and smoke? The joke was sleeping early! You want me to social with my friends in breakfast or lunch time? At this time, she softly said “I really wants to have a cute baby in future, it looks more like a family. Furthermore, I don’t want to have regretful moments in future”. All these words came out of my love (wife), her words melted in my heart deeply. I told her “Ok, we will go for it BUT you will need to promise me ONE IMPORTANT thing. No matter the process success or not we only have one attempt we need to accept the truth and live happily without regret in future.” she agreed.

Commitment, this is not some empty promise. I made a huge commitment to change my lifestyle into zero alcohol, tobacco and lesser stress. If comparing the pain and suffers my wife will take in this journey e.g., injection, medication effects, hormone changes and all the effects from pregnancies to delivery, mine looks more alike small potatoes (looks much more simple). Trust me guys, don't compare it, if you do and more likely you're going loose badly. For the sake of making a better future, I had fulfilled this commitment.

IVF Journey Phase 1 “Unskilled Husband Injection”
Day 1, doctor consults us for Buserelin injection. I need to inject this medication into my wife's belly each day sharp at 8AM. The nurse had guided me side by side to do the first injection.
Day 2, I started my first injection to my wife's belly without anyone guiding beside. Feels a bit nervous because this time I'm doing it all by myself. I try to hum some music to distract my wife's from looking at the needle while injecting but still she is looking at it.
Day 3 - Day 15, sometime the injection hurting and causes bleeding/bruise to her. I need to find a new spot to inject every time and sees her bruise makes my pain in the heart too. My injection skills improved dramatically. She even told me that she doesn't feel pain like the beginning stages.
Day 16, follow up 2nd checkup. Doctor said, everything goes smoothly and added another medication to inject called Gonal-F to take home and start injecting on day 23. This message never surprises me because I've been told earlier, but just that the price to pay for this medication is quite costly.
Day 17 - Day 22, nothing much on these days and we just stick on the plan as usual.

IVF Journey Phase 2 “Stressful Night”
Day 23, Gonal F injections start today. This needle doesn't look same as those earlier, it comes with medication in it and look like a pen.
Day 24 - Day 26, side effects of the Gonal F medications started. My wife is feeling irritation at the injection site, fullness, bloating and tenderness in the lower abdomen due to the increasing size of the ovaries. Her mood changes dramatically as I can tell, but she endures it and tell me she can handle it.
Day 27, follow up 3rd checkup. Doctor said wife has eggs total of 12 and is ready for Transvaginal oocyte retrieval "Human language, Egg retrieval" at day 31.
Day 28 - Day 29, final injection of Gonal F. At day 29 night, I inject Ovidrel to wife belly to that causes the growth and release of a mature egg (ovulation) for day 31.
Day 30, resting whole day. Finally, we had a day without injection and worrying about holding any needles. Today we wondering about the egg growth, not knowing will the eggs grow more or still the same amount of 12.
Day 31, egg retrieval. 8 egg success retrieves and I give out my sperm for oocytes selection on the same day. Wife given cyclogest for oval protection after the egg retrieval.

IVF Journey Phase 3 “Hopeful Embryo Culture & Embryo Transfer”
Day 32 - Day 35, rest at home. We had pillow talk every night concerning about the growth of an embryo. We also look at sample growth stages of an embryo from the web to see what the current growth stage is.
Day 36, another hopeful and nervous morning. Doctor tells us the result of embryo culture as below;
Total Embryo Retrieve: 8
Embryo Qualified for ICSI: 6
Embryo Success until Cleavage Stage (Day 2 – Day 4): 3
Embryo Success until Blastocyst Stage (Day 5): 2
Embryo Qualified / Recommended for Transfer: 1
Both our eyes looked at each other, knowing only 1 Blastocyst Embryo available to transfer and doctor tell the same after it. I really do not know how to express both our feelings into words here, as we expected to have at least 2 Blastocyst out of 8 embryos and only left 1. We both agreed to proceed this only 1 Blastocyst transfer as this is the only choice we had. It's more likely walking on a 100ft tall string with no supports mission, a single error will fail the mission.
After the transfer process, wife given a room to rest for few hours. A nurse came and give us adjunctive medications, injections and advice while resting at room.

IVF Journey Phase 4 “The Final Moment of IVF”
Day 37 - Day 49, after the transfer. This period is known as 2WW (2 Weeks Wait) with adjunctive medications, injections and be very careful. I just let her sleep/rest more on the bed, I served her every meal in the room. We're also nervous and curious about pregnancy results on day 44, we tested with cheap pregnancy tester and get got a double line on it and we do have a little hope and joy with this result. On day 47, again we test, but this time with expensive pregnancy tester and the results double line again! We're so hopeful and happy at this moment. We really hope this result is true until the next checkup.
Day 50, final checkup. My wife goes for the hCG test by giving a sample of blood, we waited 2 hours for the results. While waiting, nurse guide us to a room to rest. Wife slept and I sat beside concerned on the hCG test results. 2 hours later, the doctor invited us to look for him. Before doctor speaks, while we are sitting down, my wife's eyes were starring in the hCG results number and she spotted the hCG number is 452. She smiles happily while doctor tells her "You are pregnant and congratulations! Come back after 2 weeks to scan for baby heartbeats. And please go out to the counter and ring the bell!”

Just Sharing My Thoughts
By all means, I’m not bragging about my success. I would like to say if anyone is planning on IVF, teamwork is very important and husband play a very important role to increase the success rate. Sometimes, I do feel like a spectator than a participant myself because I never experience any of the medical exams but this is not true. Every injection I put on her belly, I feel the pain in my heart as bad as she has on the belly. Ok, nothing much to share in this IVF journey and next time I might be sharing another journey as a Father! Here is my little baby girl Facebook page奥莉 Olivia Baby - 梁童心心 https://fb.me/oliviababylove if you wish to see her growth updates.

End.

#ivf #ivfmalaysia #ivfjourney #baby #alphafertility