前外相聶偉敬就香港暴血局勢，緊急致函香港特首林鄭月娥。
於是，又到了學英文時間。
先留意上款：聶偉敬稱林鄭為 Dear Mrs Lam，而不是 Dear Carrie。
一般而言，即使是公文信來往，由於此信不涉公司團體，特別是林鄭是英國殖民主餵養大的「精英」，而此信也嘗試動之以情（假設收信人懂得這個字的話），因此上款應以筆書寫為 Dear Carrie，與下款的簽名一致。
但沒有。這是前宗主人開門見山對「港英餘孽」頗為不悅的含蓄暗示。
果然，開篇第一句：We are writing as a matter of utmost urgency， Urgency 還不夠，還要加Utmost ， 英式英文不重浮誇，益見嚴峻。
第二段更重複：We are gravely concerned。不得了。而且強調：Everything must be done to avoid such a tragedy，亦「你必須採取一切手段避免此等悲劇」，語氣與習近平或韓正下命令相同。如果你還記得鴉片戰爭，看到這一句，應該開始覺得不太舒服。
第三段核心所在：我們譴責少數（即大陸語言的「一小撮」）學生的暴力，「但」（but ) 我們相信，警方的行動，幾個星期以來令局勢火上加油升級。因果主次，一目了 然。
最後一段，豈止下令，簡直鞭撻。左一句 you have a duty，右一句 you have the authority。但如何解決？英國前主人為尊重「港人治港，高度自治」、尊重中國人民感情，並無詳細（亦即大陸說的「具體」）指示，只以一句 to seek a meaningful way forward （找尋一個能令局勢向前進的有意思的辦法）：你自己搞掂。
最後一段：全世界都在看着你，你自己好自為之。嘩，簡直是恐嚇了。
如果你是林鄭，這封英文信應該怎樣回覆？
勿忘記，任何回信，先要交北京批准，因此回信即使用英文寫，也要中央官員看得懂而拍板，因此我試代擬如下：
You hateful British Imperialist Malcolm Rifkind:
You listen. Stop interfering in we Chinese Hong Kong SAR internal affairs, otherwise we stop all the business contracts.
As Chief Executive, I don’t need you to point fingers and draw feet ( 指手劃腳）at me and talk three say four (說三道四）to our heroic police force.
You telling me to do the ‘everything must be done to avoid such a tragedy’ ?
You telling me? Yes actually I am doing. I saying to police to use real bullets. Yes, actually real real bullet indeed. You scare? This mean actually I doing everything, OK?
So, don’t bullshit with bullet. Ok?
Now if you send me more rubbish letter like this, I shall appeal to President to call back all Chinese student in Britain, so that all your universities and polytechnics will suffer more bad than being attacked by lethal poisoning tear gas and real bullet, and have to close down immediately because no more money, understand ?
Your disdainfully,
Carrie Lam.
而這張信紙上，最好用隱形墨水加一行：
P.S.
Dear Malcolm,
you know what my situation is like. Please keep my British citizenship and that of my family as I am in real shit. I’ll explain all to you one day, face to face.
Love.
Yours,
Carrie
i am me意思 在 中式俗語vs紐約俚語，“Thirsty”在酒吧竟然代表這個意思…… 的八卦
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