future partner meaning的八卦，Yahoo名人娛樂都在討論

最好的自己不在未來，就在現在。

認真回想，以前我好像在每一段關係中都是在扮演某一個角色，不由自主的在為每個對象做調整。不只有在戀愛上，有時候可能跟朋友、工作夥伴都是，尤其是在前輩面前，常常我都會本能反應似的改變自己。聲音要甜一點嗎？笑話要低級一點嗎？從穿衣服就可以看出，我今天是要跟誰吃飯。雖然是微調，但透露出了一件事，我好像不夠喜歡真正的自己，所以才會擔心大家也不會喜歡真正的我。我告訴自己即使累，但如果持續努力，有一天就能變成大家都喜歡的Lara。

久而久之我和世界的相處模式只有「由外到內」，會依照別人對我的反應去斷定我的下一步。大家會覺得我很好相處，我卻越來越不快樂。現在我慢慢開始懂了，原來我把順序弄反了。我該優先處理的是自己內心的感受，其他人買不買單，其實跟你一點關係都沒有。就像找另外一半，如果我跟夢中情人在一起，但我根本無法在他面前做自己，最後還是會走不下去。

我現在33歲，So What? 終於懂，「當下的自己」才是人生時間軸上最重要的！

對了，有人好奇這次「{}」的意思嗎？簡單說是「大括號」，在數學運算式中稱作「空集合」。數學不好的人就想像一個清空的行李箱吧。「空」不是無，而是無限可能。括號還有另外一個更好懂的意思，就是「優先處理」。將過去整理過後的自己，回歸純粹，態度成熟自信！(失戀後重新出發的人應該很有感觸吧！🤣)

Your best self is not in the future, but in the Now.

Looking back, I seem to have been playing a role in almost every relationship I was ever in. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. Whether it was with friends or colleagues (especially seniors), I would modify myself almost instinctively. Should my voice be sweeter? My jokes dirtier? If you wanted to know who I was eating with that day, all you had to do was look at the clothes I was wearing.

The changes were subtle, but they still reflected a truth: I didn’t feel like the real me was enough so I was worried that other people would also find her lacking. I told myself that if I just kept working at it, I would someday become a version of Lara that everyone accepted.

Eventually I only knew how to get my cues from the external world. I would always base my next step on feedback I got from others. Most people considered me easy to get along with, but I grew more and more unhappy.

I think I had it all wrong. My first priority should have been listening to my inner voice. Whether or not other people agree with it is not in my control nor of my concern. Take looking for a partner. Even if I found the person of my dreams, it would never last if I couldn’t be myself around them.

I am 33 years old. So What? I finally understand that "the present self" is the most important thing on the timeline of life! It’s time to prioritize me!

By the way, is anyone curious about the meaning of "{}" this time? Besides the more commonly known representation of parentheses as prioritization, these curly brackets are called “the empty set”. The empty what? If like me, math is not your strongest suit, think of it as an empty suitcase. "Empty" doesn’t mean nothing, but infinite possibilities! What will you fill your life with this time?

2021全新專輯《來者何人{}》
數位收聽：https://LaraLiang.lnk.to/DearYou2

<再也沒有你> 陳勢安 Andrew Tan
數位收聽：https://kkbox.fm/Iss26l

#Lara梁心頤2021全新專輯二部曲 #來者何人{} 全球發行
#再也沒有你 #NoMoreU #SoWhat30

An incredibly beautiful, sad, brave, wise, inspiring post by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Early this year, I read her book 'Lean In', a book encouraging women to achieve their dreams and ambitions, and was so grateful it was written for such a time as this. I especially loved her chapter about David being so supportive of her. I'm still stunned by all that's happened to them.

Here's to beating the heck out of Option B.

Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband—the first thirty days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be resumed, but it is the end of sheloshim that marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse.

A childhood friend of mine who is now a rabbi recently told me that the most powerful one-line prayer he has ever read is: “Let me not die while I am still alive.” I would have never understood that prayer before losing Dave. Now I do.

I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. These past thirty days, I have spent many of my moments lost in that void. And I know that many future moments will be consumed by the vast emptiness as well.

But when I can, I want to choose life and meaning.

And this is why I am writing: to mark the end of sheloshim and to give back some of what others have given to me. While the experience of grief is profoundly personal, the bravery of those who have shared their own experiences has helped pull me through. Some who opened their hearts were my closest friends. Others were total strangers who have shared wisdom and advice publicly. So I am sharing what I have learned in the hope that it helps someone else. In the hope that there can be some meaning from this tragedy.

I have lived thirty years in these thirty days. I am thirty years sadder. I feel like I am thirty years wiser.

I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony I feel when my children scream and cry and from the connection my mother has to my pain. She has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep. She has fought to hold back her own tears to make room for mine. She has explained to me that the anguish I am feeling is both my own and my children’s, and I understood that she was right as I saw the pain in her own eyes.

I have learned that I never really knew what to say to others in need. I think I got this all wrong before; I tried to assure people that it would be okay, thinking that hope was the most comforting thing I could offer. A friend of mine with late-stage cancer told me that the worst thing people could say to him was “It is going to be okay.” That voice in his head would scream, How do you know it is going to be okay? Do you not understand that I might die? I learned this past month what he was trying to teach me. Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not. When people say to me, “You and your children will find happiness again,” my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the truth. Even a simple “How are you?”—almost always asked with the best of intentions—is better replaced with “How are you today?” When I am asked “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.

I have learned some practical stuff that matters. Although we now know that Dave died immediately, I didn’t know that in the ambulance. The trip to the hospital was unbearably slow. I still hate every car that did not move to the side, every person who cared more about arriving at their destination a few minutes earlier than making room for us to pass. I have noticed this while driving in many countries and cities. Let’s all move out of the way. Someone’s parent or partner or child might depend on it.

I have learned how ephemeral everything can feel—and maybe everything is. That whatever rug you are standing on can be pulled right out from under you with absolutely no warning. In the last thirty days, I have heard from too many women who lost a spouse and then had multiple rugs pulled out from under them. Some lack support networks and struggle alone as they face emotional distress and financial insecurity. It seems so wrong to me that we abandon these women and their families when they are in greatest need.

I have learned to ask for help—and I have learned how much help I need. Until now, I have been the older sister, the COO, the doer and the planner. I did not plan this, and when it happened, I was not capable of doing much of anything. Those closest to me took over. They planned. They arranged. They told me where to sit and reminded me to eat. They are still doing so much to support me and my children.

I have learned that resilience can be learned. Adam M. Grant taught me that three things are critical to resilience and that I can work on all three. Personalization—realizing it is not my fault. He told me to ban the word “sorry.” To tell myself over and over, This is not my fault. Permanence—remembering that I won’t feel like this forever. This will get better. Pervasiveness—this does not have to affect every area of my life; the ability to compartmentalize is healthy.

For me, starting the transition back to work has been a savior, a chance to feel useful and connected. But I quickly discovered that even those connections had changed. Many of my co-workers had a look of fear in their eyes as I approached. I knew why—they wanted to help but weren’t sure how. Should I mention it? Should I not mention it? If I mention it, what the hell do I say? I realized that to restore that closeness with my colleagues that has always been so important to me, I needed to let them in. And that meant being more open and vulnerable than I ever wanted to be. I told those I work with most closely that they could ask me their honest questions and I would answer. I also said it was okay for them to talk about how they felt. One colleague admitted she’d been driving by my house frequently, not sure if she should come in. Another said he was paralyzed when I was around, worried he might say the wrong thing. Speaking openly replaced the fear of doing and saying the wrong thing. One of my favorite cartoons of all time has an elephant in a room answering the phone, saying, “It’s the elephant.” Once I addressed the elephant, we were able to kick him out of the room.

At the same time, there are moments when I can’t let people in. I went to Portfolio Night at school where kids show their parents around the classroom to look at their work hung on the walls. So many of the parents—all of whom have been so kind—tried to make eye contact or say something they thought would be comforting. I looked down the entire time so no one could catch my eye for fear of breaking down. I hope they understood.

I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before—like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted. When a friend told me that he hates birthdays and so he was not celebrating his, I looked at him and said through tears, “Celebrate your birthday, goddammit. You are lucky to have each one.” My next birthday will be depressing as hell, but I am determined to celebrate it in my heart more than I have ever celebrated a birthday before.

I am truly grateful to the many who have offered their sympathy. A colleague told me that his wife, whom I have never met, decided to show her support by going back to school to get her degree—something she had been putting off for years. Yes! When the circumstances allow, I believe as much as ever in leaning in. And so many men—from those I know well to those I will likely never know—are honoring Dave’s life by spending more time with their families.

I can’t even express the gratitude I feel to my family and friends who have done so much and reassured me that they will continue to be there. In the brutal moments when I am overtaken by the void, when the months and years stretch out in front of me endless and empty, only their faces pull me out of the isolation and fear. My appreciation for them knows no bounds.

I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” He put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”

Dave, to honor your memory and raise your children as they deserve to be raised, I promise to do all I can to kick the shit out of option B. And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A. As Bono sang, “There is no end to grief . . . and there is no end to love.” I love you, Dave.

The Name “Wonderful”

“Then Manoah said to the Angel of the LORD, “What is Your name, that when Your words come to pass we may honor You?” And the Angel of the LORD said to him, “Why do you ask My name, seeing it is wonderful?”” ‭‭(Judges‬ ‭13:17-18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

Yahweh took the form of an angel, appeared to Manoah and revealed His name as “Wonderful”.

The prophet Isaiah prophesied that “Wonderful” would be born to mankind. As a Man He was born and as a Son of God, He was given to us.

“For to us a child is born. To us a son is given; and the government will be on his shoulders. His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there shall be no end, on David’s throne, and on his kingdom, to establish it, and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from that time on, even forever. The zeal of Yahweh of Armies will perform this.” ‭‭(Isaiah‬ ‭9:6-7‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

This child “Wonderful” is destined to rule on David’s throne forever. He has been given the authority already, but then fulfillment of it will be in the future.

The following passage almost mirrors the one above. It reveals the name of the child who is called “Wonderful”.

“Behold, you will conceive in your womb, and give birth to a son, and will call his name ‘Jesus.’ He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father, David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever. There will be no end to his Kingdom.”” ‭‭(Luke‬ ‭1:31-33‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

His name is “Jesus”. In the original Hebrew, “Yeshuah”.

Now we know who “Wonderful” is. This word in the Hebrew, “pele” has the meaning of miraculous signs and wonders too. Miracles happen in Jesus’ name.

He is also Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.

Counselor: through His Spirit, Jesus is our parakletos (in Greek), the one who is close enough to our situation to make a judgment call.
He helps us in all situations in our life, and is our defense lawyer when the devil tries to accuse us based on false evidence.

Mighty God: Jesus is God. He is not just a Man—He is both God and Man.

Everlasting Father: As Creator of all things, Jesus is our Father—He made us. As Man, He is our Bridegroom. As God, He is our Father.

Prince of Peace: Peace is what characterizes Jesus’ kingdom. He is not the author of chaos or confusion. Wherever Jesus’ reign is established, there is peace—wholeness, love, health, freedom and no lack in any way.

This Christmas, as we remember Jesus’ birth, let’s not stop there. His birth as a Man showed His commitment to save us, but it was His death that actually saved us.

Through faith in Him, He has become Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace to us!

At this link you can read more Christ-centered Bible Studies, devotionals, sermon notes and find ways to partner with our ministry to help us reach even more people with the Gospel ===> https://smart.bio/miltongohblog

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#Jesus #Christmas

【曲名 : 浮気は犯罪行為】
↓音楽アプリで鬼リピしてね♡↓
ダウンロード : https://linkco.re/EMA89gRz

Music/Lyrics/Mix/Mastered : たかやん (Takayan)
Twitter : https://twitter.com/takayan_gorizal
Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/takayan_gorizal
Soundcloud : https://soundcloud.com/takayan_gorizal

Animation : ラビットマシーン (Rabbit MACHINE)
Twitter : https://twitter.com/Rabbit_MACHINE

Track : Reno
inst : https://youtu.be/YrW7VebOpmU

【Lyrics】
浮気がバレて「死にたい」？
こっちの方が100倍「死にたい」
嘘だらけのダサい 弁解
ダルい 数ヶ月のFake Love
さぞかし良い気分だったよね？
数人の相手を弄んで
やり返しても意味が無いの
痛みか苦しみ 受けろ 後遺症

原因とか事前に言ってくれれば 直すのに
顔とか言うなら付き合った意味が分からない
セフレ作れよ最初から 愛の無い半端な性行為
馬鹿じゃない？端から顔で選んでんなら
「内面が大事」とか言ってたじゃねえか
季節移り変わり キスの相手も移り変わり
付ける薬なんて無い 死ななければ治りはしない
理想の相手のストックあるのは凄いけど
とっかえひっかえよりか一途がかっこいいよ
そもそも素敵な恋愛って何？
「飽き」と「嫉妬しちゃうような感情」って何？
この先 生きていくメリットって何？
今後、子供を生んでく意味って何？
あ！気付いたらめちゃくちゃ病んでる
お前の所為 飲みまくる酒
全部悟って ふわふわ OD
命と引き換して更生しろ

くりくりまず剥ぎ取る
たまたまおちんちんびろーん
明日も生きよう！ あなたの為に生きよう！
ぱくぱくぴんくのうみそ レバー美味しいよーん！

大好きなのは変わらない けど怒りだけが 今 収まらない
感情任せでごめんなさい 今から教える「本当の愛」

浮気がバレて「死にたい」？
こっちの方が100倍「死にたい」
嘘だらけのダサい 弁解
ダルい 数ヶ月のFake Love
さぞかし良い気分だったよね？
数人の相手を弄んで
やり返しても意味が無いの
痛みか苦しみ 受けろ 後遺症

【English Lyrics】
Cheated and got caught, saying "I want to die" ?
I want to die 10000% more than you.
Your excuses are full of lies.
F*ck, several months of fake love.
Your must felt great after what you did.
Flirting several girls at the same time.
It's meaningless to start over.
Feel pain and suffer, sequelae.

I would have changed if you told me your complains.
I don't even know why are we dating if you care for appearance that much.
You should have make some sex friends, and make love which don't involves love.
Are you dumb? If you choose from appearance,
why would you say "Inner beauty is important" to me?
Season changes, the people you kiss also changes.
There's no medicine to fix you, you will never change unless you die.
Amazing for you to stock up your 'ideal lover',
Love someone wholeheartedly is way better than changing partner again and again.
First of all, what exactly is 'perfect relationship'?
What is 'fed up' and 'jealous'?
What is the merit for me to live to the future?
What is the meaning for me to give birth to a baby after all these things happened?
Ahh, I've already gone mad when I notice what's going on.
Turns out to be an alcoholic because of what you've done.
Whatever, feeling great, overdose.
Give up your life for your redemption.

Peel off you skins.
Take off your balls and pen*s.
Tomorrow will be a great day, I will live it for you.!
Eat your pinky brain, and your liver tastes so delicious!

I love you so much and it never changed, but now, I really can't stop my anger.
Sorry to be extremely emotional, from now on, I will show you what is 'real love'.

Cheated and got caught, saying "I want to die" ?
I want to die 10000% more than you.
Your excuses are full of lies.
F*ck, several months of fake love.
Your must felt great after what you did.
Flirting several girls at the same time.
It's meaningless to start over.
Feel pain and suffer, sequelae.