spouse meaning的八卦，YOUTUBE和Yahoo名人娛樂都在討論

"Saya betul-betul harap anak kali ni saya dapat anak lelaki!" tegas seorang ibu yang saya santuni di dalam sebuah sesi konsultasi antenatal one-to-one.
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Hmmmm saya waktu tu tak terkejut, tapi agak aneh kenapa beliau tiba-tiba tekankan soal jantina anak kandungannya tanpa di tanya.
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"Wah ye ke, anak sulung puan perempuan ke?" Sapa saya bersahaja.
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"Tak , anak lelaki" jawabnya ringkas.
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Saya agak berteka teki tentang ibu ini. Mesti ada yang tak kena.
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"Saya kalau boleh nak semua anak lelaki, saya nak didik mereka, sehingga menjadi seorang lelaki dan bergelar suami nanti, jangan jadi lelaki tak guna yang tak tahu hargai perempuan" sambung beliau lagi.
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Dah sudah, sebelum mula sesi ni, kene settle dulu luahan ibu ni kalau tidak pasti apa yang di ajar tidak melekat di mindanya nanti.
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"Senang jadi laki ni Dr, bangun, mandi, pakai baju dan jamah makanan sedikit kalau mahu, keluar pergi kerja. Tak perlu fikir anak dah siap ke, barang anak dah siap packing ke, sampah dah buang ke, rumah tunggang langgang pun tak kesah, semua kita kena buat. Tapi bila tak elok, mula la perli, cakap sindir-sindir" terang ibu ni panjang lebar.
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"So bila ada anak lelaki, saya nak pastikan dia orang ni tak jadi macam bapak dia orang. Tiada ehsan pada wanita, tak sedar rezeki tersekat kerana sifatnya itu" ibu ini memang betul- betul kesal dengan apa yang terjadi di dalam rumah tangganya. Wajahnya sugul, tampak keletihan dan sarat hamil 8 bulan.
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Waktu ni saya hanya mampu analize, need & feeling beliau, apa sebenarnya ibu ini perlukan bagaimana dapat meringankan sikit keresahan hatinya agar proses pembelajaran dapay di teruskan.
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Teringat proses meditasi pernafasan yang Dr Izam Suziani lakukan pada saya, dan saya pun bentangkan kad need & feeling yang Dr Izam berikan.
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Proses 20 minit ini singkat tapi mampu memberikan rasa fokus yang tinggi pada ibu untuk sesi pembelajaran antenatal : persiapan penyusuan.
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Nota kaki:
Wahai lelaki yang bergelar suami, isteri bukan pembantu rumah mahupun hamba abdi milikmu. Mereka manusia yang ada emosi, penat, sedih, dan perlu di tatang dengan kasih sayang dan kemesraan.
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Komunikasi adalah penting, tapi lebih baik lagi sekiranya di gabung bersama tolak ansur. Era ini ramai wanita yang bekerjaya sama-sama mencari rezeki meringankan keperluan ekonomi keluarga.
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Sama-sama bertanya kabar, bersembang mesra, tak mampu memasak dan menyusukan anak, tapi masih mampu bertanya kepada pasangan apakah yang boleh di lakukan untuk meringankan kerja di rumah sedikit sebanyak dapat membantu seorang wanita merasa di hargai.
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Hanya dengan bertanya sahaja sudah membuat hati isteri lembut, apatah lagi membantu. Perli dan sindiran itu hanya akan mengeruhkan keadaan.
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Ibu di atas adalah ibu kepada 3 orang anak lelaki, dan sarat hamil anak ke 4. Beliau perlu memastikan penyusuan susu ibu berjalan dengan baik katanya, beliau sudah tidak ada peruntukan wang lebih untuk beli susu rumusan sekiranya perlu.
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Sebak hati saya mendengar rentetan kisah beliau. Kata beliau sebelum beransur pergi, "saya mohon doa dari Dr dan para ibu lain sekiranya Dr nak tulis kisah saya, mana tahu ada yang mendoakan secara ikhlas dan doanya di makbulkan, letihnya menjadi perempuan. Saya tak nak anak perempuan nanti dia dapat perlayanan yang serupa seperti ibunya, tak ubah seperti seorang kuli"
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Sedar atau tidak, masalah penyusuan susu ibu kebanyakkan tidak semata-mata isu penyusuan sahaja. Ia kerap kali melibatkan isu lain yang menjurus kepada kegagalan untuk mengekalkan minta positive ibu. Keletihan yang melampau, tiada sokongan dan tidak punya tempat untuk meluahkan rasa membuatkan emosi seorang ibu tergoncang hebat!
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Bersyukurlah ibu yang memiliki sokongan dari pasangan, masyarakat, keluarga dan tempat kerja. Ini adalah rezeki yang wajar kita syukuri. Tag pasangan, keluarga dan rakan-rakan ibu agar mereka tahu yang ibu sangat menghargai sokongan dan bantuan mereka!
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Tugas kami bukan sahaja mempromosikan penyusuan susu ibu, tetapi ia juga merangkumi aspek sokongan penyusuan susu ibu dan melindungi amalan penyusuan susu ibu dengan baik dan padu!
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Selamat menyambut minggu penyusuan susu ibu sedunia : Memperkasa ibu bapa , Mengupaya penyusuan susu ibu adalah tema sambutan tahun ini. Sangat dalam maksudnya namun ia wajar untuk di beri penekanan!
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Dr Nurhaya Yacob
Sekiranya kita lihat ibu menyusu, santuni mereka sebaik mungkin, sekiranya tidak ada sebarang perkataan/ tindakan yang baik yang boleh di lontarkan, maka lebih baik diam.
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Selaku you all baca tips dan info penyusuan, hari saya kongsi sedikit realiti kehidupan seorang ibu yang cuba untuk menyusu dan menjayakan penyusuan susu ibu.

Kredit : Dr Nurhaya Lactation Center
′′ I really hope my son this time I get a son!" firmly a mother that I'm in a one-to-one antenatal consultation session.
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Hmmmm I wasn't surprised at the time, but it's kinda weird why he suddenly pressed on his gender of his content without being asked.
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′′ Wow, is it the eldest daughter of a woman?" Who am I apart.
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′′ No, son ′′ answered simple.
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I'm pretty riddle about this mom. There must be something wrong.
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′′ If I can want all boys, I want to educate them, until I become a man and be a husband, don't be a man who doesn't know how to appreciate women ′′ continue him again.
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It's done, before the start of this session, you have to settle first if you don't know what you are taught won't stick to her mind later.
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′′ It's easy to be this man Dr, wake up, shower, wear clothes and jamah a little food if you want to, get off work. Don't have to think that the child is done, the child's stuff is done packing, the trash has been thrown away, even the house isn't good, all we have to do But when it's not good, start to go home, say sarcastic ′′ this mother's bright is long.
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′′ So when I have a son, I want to make sure that he doesn't become like his father. There's no concern on women, not realizing the fortune stuck because of her nature ′′ this mother is really upset with what's going on in her household. Her face is sugulous, looking tired and 8 months pregnant.
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At this time I can only analyze, need & feeling her, what exactly is this mother needs how to relieve her anxiety so that the process of mushroom learning is continued.
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Remembered the respiratory meditation process that Dr. Izam Suziani did to me, and I also presented the need & feeling card that Dr Izam gave.
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This 20-minute process is short but able to give a high sense of focus to mom for an antenatal learning session: breastfeeding preparation.
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Foot notes:
Dear man who is called husband, wife is not your housekeeper or your slave. They are humans who are emotional, tired, sad, and need to be tackled with affection and affection.
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Communication is important, but it's even better if joined together with installment. This era many women who work together looking for sustenance to ease the family's economic needs.
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Asking news, talking friendly, unable to cook and breastfeeding children, but still able to ask the couple what can be done to ease homework a little bit as much as can help a woman feel appreciated.
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Just asking, has made the wife's heart soft, you know how to help. Those perli and sarcasm will only heal things.
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The mother above is a mother of 3 sons, and pregnant laden 4. th child. She needs to ensure the mother milk breastfeeding runs well she said, she has no more money allocation to buy home milk if necessary.
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It's my heart hearing his story line. He said before going away, ′′ I ask for prayers from Dr and other mothers if Dr would like to write my story, who knows there is a sincere prayer and pray that is granted, tired of being a woman. I don't want a girl to get a similar service like her mother, not change like a college ′′
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Realize or not, the problem of breastfeeding is mostly not just breastfeeding issues. It often involves other issues that manage failure to keep mom positive. Extreme exhaustion, no support and nowhere to express the feeling of making a mother's emotion trembling!
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Be grateful mothers who have the support of their spouse, community, family and workplace. This is a reasonable provision we are grateful for. Tag your partner, family and friends so they know that mom really appreciate their support and help!
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Our task is not only to promote mother milk breastfeeding, but it also includes the support aspect of mother milk breastfeeding and protects the practices of mother's milk breastfeeding well and solid!
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Happy worldwide mother milk breastfeeding week: Enhancing parents, Appreciating mother milk breastfeeding is the theme of this year's celebration. Very deep meaning but it's normal to be emphasized!
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Dr Nurhaya Yacob
If we see breastfeeding mothers, give them the best possible, if there are no good words / actions that can be thrown away, then it's better to be silent.
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As you all read tips and breastfeeding info, my day I share some of the reality of the life of a mother who is trying to breastfeed and make mother milk breastfeeding.

Credit: @[1681178608816716:274:Dr Nurhaya Lactation Center]Translated

An incredibly beautiful, sad, brave, wise, inspiring post by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Early this year, I read her book 'Lean In', a book encouraging women to achieve their dreams and ambitions, and was so grateful it was written for such a time as this. I especially loved her chapter about David being so supportive of her. I'm still stunned by all that's happened to them.

Here's to beating the heck out of Option B.

Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband—the first thirty days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be resumed, but it is the end of sheloshim that marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse.

A childhood friend of mine who is now a rabbi recently told me that the most powerful one-line prayer he has ever read is: “Let me not die while I am still alive.” I would have never understood that prayer before losing Dave. Now I do.

I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. These past thirty days, I have spent many of my moments lost in that void. And I know that many future moments will be consumed by the vast emptiness as well.

But when I can, I want to choose life and meaning.

And this is why I am writing: to mark the end of sheloshim and to give back some of what others have given to me. While the experience of grief is profoundly personal, the bravery of those who have shared their own experiences has helped pull me through. Some who opened their hearts were my closest friends. Others were total strangers who have shared wisdom and advice publicly. So I am sharing what I have learned in the hope that it helps someone else. In the hope that there can be some meaning from this tragedy.

I have lived thirty years in these thirty days. I am thirty years sadder. I feel like I am thirty years wiser.

I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony I feel when my children scream and cry and from the connection my mother has to my pain. She has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep. She has fought to hold back her own tears to make room for mine. She has explained to me that the anguish I am feeling is both my own and my children’s, and I understood that she was right as I saw the pain in her own eyes.

I have learned that I never really knew what to say to others in need. I think I got this all wrong before; I tried to assure people that it would be okay, thinking that hope was the most comforting thing I could offer. A friend of mine with late-stage cancer told me that the worst thing people could say to him was “It is going to be okay.” That voice in his head would scream, How do you know it is going to be okay? Do you not understand that I might die? I learned this past month what he was trying to teach me. Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not. When people say to me, “You and your children will find happiness again,” my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the truth. Even a simple “How are you?”—almost always asked with the best of intentions—is better replaced with “How are you today?” When I am asked “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.

I have learned some practical stuff that matters. Although we now know that Dave died immediately, I didn’t know that in the ambulance. The trip to the hospital was unbearably slow. I still hate every car that did not move to the side, every person who cared more about arriving at their destination a few minutes earlier than making room for us to pass. I have noticed this while driving in many countries and cities. Let’s all move out of the way. Someone’s parent or partner or child might depend on it.

I have learned how ephemeral everything can feel—and maybe everything is. That whatever rug you are standing on can be pulled right out from under you with absolutely no warning. In the last thirty days, I have heard from too many women who lost a spouse and then had multiple rugs pulled out from under them. Some lack support networks and struggle alone as they face emotional distress and financial insecurity. It seems so wrong to me that we abandon these women and their families when they are in greatest need.

I have learned to ask for help—and I have learned how much help I need. Until now, I have been the older sister, the COO, the doer and the planner. I did not plan this, and when it happened, I was not capable of doing much of anything. Those closest to me took over. They planned. They arranged. They told me where to sit and reminded me to eat. They are still doing so much to support me and my children.

I have learned that resilience can be learned. Adam M. Grant taught me that three things are critical to resilience and that I can work on all three. Personalization—realizing it is not my fault. He told me to ban the word “sorry.” To tell myself over and over, This is not my fault. Permanence—remembering that I won’t feel like this forever. This will get better. Pervasiveness—this does not have to affect every area of my life; the ability to compartmentalize is healthy.

For me, starting the transition back to work has been a savior, a chance to feel useful and connected. But I quickly discovered that even those connections had changed. Many of my co-workers had a look of fear in their eyes as I approached. I knew why—they wanted to help but weren’t sure how. Should I mention it? Should I not mention it? If I mention it, what the hell do I say? I realized that to restore that closeness with my colleagues that has always been so important to me, I needed to let them in. And that meant being more open and vulnerable than I ever wanted to be. I told those I work with most closely that they could ask me their honest questions and I would answer. I also said it was okay for them to talk about how they felt. One colleague admitted she’d been driving by my house frequently, not sure if she should come in. Another said he was paralyzed when I was around, worried he might say the wrong thing. Speaking openly replaced the fear of doing and saying the wrong thing. One of my favorite cartoons of all time has an elephant in a room answering the phone, saying, “It’s the elephant.” Once I addressed the elephant, we were able to kick him out of the room.

At the same time, there are moments when I can’t let people in. I went to Portfolio Night at school where kids show their parents around the classroom to look at their work hung on the walls. So many of the parents—all of whom have been so kind—tried to make eye contact or say something they thought would be comforting. I looked down the entire time so no one could catch my eye for fear of breaking down. I hope they understood.

I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before—like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted. When a friend told me that he hates birthdays and so he was not celebrating his, I looked at him and said through tears, “Celebrate your birthday, goddammit. You are lucky to have each one.” My next birthday will be depressing as hell, but I am determined to celebrate it in my heart more than I have ever celebrated a birthday before.

I am truly grateful to the many who have offered their sympathy. A colleague told me that his wife, whom I have never met, decided to show her support by going back to school to get her degree—something she had been putting off for years. Yes! When the circumstances allow, I believe as much as ever in leaning in. And so many men—from those I know well to those I will likely never know—are honoring Dave’s life by spending more time with their families.

I can’t even express the gratitude I feel to my family and friends who have done so much and reassured me that they will continue to be there. In the brutal moments when I am overtaken by the void, when the months and years stretch out in front of me endless and empty, only their faces pull me out of the isolation and fear. My appreciation for them knows no bounds.

I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” He put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”

Dave, to honor your memory and raise your children as they deserve to be raised, I promise to do all I can to kick the shit out of option B. And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A. As Bono sang, “There is no end to grief . . . and there is no end to love.” I love you, Dave.

《眼中的情報》
The Information In Your Eyes (English version below)

眼睛乃靈魂之窗，相信是眾所皆知的。但眼中所藏的情報，那就不一定眾所皆知了。妳你若有緣有幸觀讀此文章、吾給你妳「版權」，口耳相傳，讓更多人知曉，如何查閱眼中的情報，以便防止「恐怖份子」，或 「極端份子」，的「毀滅」行動，救人救己，搖身一變，成為你妳親朋戚友眼中或心中的「超級國際刑警」，羨煞旁人。

大家都知道，熱戀中的男女，大多都是渾然忘我的，或許是情人眼裡出西施，情人眼裏出潘安吧！旁人想給於他她們任何寶貴意見，對她他們而言，彷彿是「不堪入耳」，後來的後來，就演變成「情人的眼淚」了。哥姊們，若有異性來到你妳們的跟前，叫你妳們望著她他們的雙眼，然後告訴你妳們說，她他們眼裡只有妳你，千萬別輕易相信這種鬼話。不，是這種謊話。無論白天或黑夜，不要亂提這鬼字，童言無忌，童言無忌。哈哈哈！

眼睛裡若有水，代表及顯示，此人已累已需休息，或感冒菌已入體，必需快快「處理」，以免肝壞。性格方面是主，此人「醉翁之意不在酒」，為人輕浮不可靠，姊妹們要謹記啊！眼睛裡若有血絲，乃易怒易燥易煩之相，睡眠不佳是不在話下的。多喝清肝的飲料或甜品，如：菊花人參茶、天然蜂蜜泡參茶、川貝枇杷膏等等。綠豆湯、杏仁糊、芝麻糊等等。眼睛眨不停，念頭不能定，很有可能會出賣你妳，於最後一分鐘哦！祇因這種人常變卦。

眼睛的「傳情達意」，是很直接的。只要你妳多加細心的觀察，假以時日是有可能成為，玳瑚師父後的另一位超級「眼睛權威」，享譽海內外。「眼中的情報」，當然不只是這些，當中還包括夫或妻有外遇否，妳你們住的環境，你妳們的子女等等。這些就留待下一次的機緣，再授於妳你們了。恭喜妳你們，妳你們搜索「眼中的情報」的功力，更上一層樓了，但是要永遠記得，利己利她他是學此門學問的最初發心。

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I believe many of you would know that the eyes are the windows to your soul. However, not everyone knows how to decipher the information concealed in the eyes. If you have the good fortune to read this article, I hereby give you the "distribution rights" to spread this knowledge by word of mouth, on how to crack the code in the information from the eyes. This shall prevent "terrorists" and "extremists" from wrecking destruction, and save lives including your own. In a blink of the eye, you will be transformed into a "Super International Crime Detective", and command the envy of your friends and relatives!

Everybody knows that couples in deep love often lose themselves in the arms of each other. Perhaps it is true that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder! They will totally ignore any well-meaning and precious advice from the people around them. To them, such advice seem to be offensive to their ears and that often result in a future where the "tears of a lover" flow. My dear brothers and sisters, if someone of the opposite sex comes to you and ask that you look into his or her eyes before telling you that you are the only one in their eyes, do not believe these "ghost" words easily. No, I meant lies. We should not use the word "ghost" randomly, be it daytime or nighttime. Please do not take offense at a child's babble. Ha ha ha!

Watery eyes signify that the person is tired and needs rest. It can also mean that the cold virus is beginning to wreck havoc in the body, and immediate action must be taken to contain it and prevent liver damage. From a personality viewpoint, a person with watery eyes means that he bears ulterior motives, and is frivolous and unreliable. So please be careful, my sisters, when you meet such a man! Eyes with visible red blood vessels are signs of a person who is easily provoked and agitated. He or she is prone to vexations and definitely has poor sleep quality. Drink more of those beverages or desserts to cleanse the liver, for example, chrysanthemum and ginseng tea, natural honey with American ginseng, loquat syrup, green bean soup, almond paste, sesame paste, etc. If the eyes blink non-stop, it signifies that the person's thoughts are not stable. This person is very likely to betray you at the very last minute, due to his/her fickle nature.

The eyes convey emotions directly. If you are more detailed and astute in your observation, you may, one day, become a "Super Authority of Eye Reading", after Master Dai Hu, and enjoy local and international fame. Of course, information from the eyes are not just what I wrote above. It includes clues to know if your spouse is having an affair, to gauge your current living environment and the well-being of your children, etc. I shall leave these to the next opportune moment before imparting you with more knowledge. Congratulations to you for attaining a higher level in eye reading. But please do remember this forever: you should only learn this skill, with the sole intent to bring benefits to others and yourselves.

www.masterdaihu.com/the-information-in-your-eyes/