有人說才子陶傑前輩用英文寫了一個 post,批評他英文不夠好。看完之後,覺得實在是吹毛求疵,如此水平已經好過很多人了。再者,才子每天寫字多過你呼吸,怎能每篇都寫到完美呢?幸好他這篇沒有用上十成功力,才讓晚輩有機會切磋切磋。紅都面晒,獻醜了。
陶傑:After my previous post to you, a friend of mine in the British education advisory career has received this request from a Hong Kong Chinese reporter. Pay attention to what the Chinese reporter said.
葉某:After my previous post, a friend of mine in the British education advisory sector received this message from a Hong Kong Chinese reporter, which I want to draw your attention to.
(好像 draw your attention to 沒有 Pay attention to 那麼霸氣,順耳一點吧。)
陶傑:She called my statements that ‘Boarding schools are there to train leadership rather than refugees’ and ‘Boarding school education is designed for staying calm and team spirit‘ as ‘being sarcastic’.
葉某:She referred to my statements, that ‘Boarding schools are there to train leaders rather than refugees…Boarding school education is designed for staying calm and team spirit’, as being “sarcastic”.
(盡量避免 called 或 said 等字,因為詞彙越精準,效果更好,所以用 referred。)
陶傑:I invite you all to have some reflection on the following questions:
葉某:I kindly invite you all to reflect on the following questions:
(可以的話,盡量避免用 noun 代替 verb,不用太造作。)
陶傑:While stating some basic and simple facts that most British boarding schools also do in their prospectuses do you agree that going to a British boarding school is an act of sarcasm or self-mockery?
葉某:Ignoring the fact that I was stating some basic and simple facts, that most British boarding schools also do in their prospectuses, do you agree that going to a British boarding school is in itself an ironic act of self-mockery? An act of “sarcasm”, perhaps?
(其實我不太掌握到才子的意思,所以沒有什麼改動,純是 style 問題。)
陶傑:Do you agree that average Chinese hardly understand the philosophy of a British or Swiss boarding school apart from being an expensive learning place for high fees?
葉某:Do you agree that the average Chinese person barely understands the philosophy of a British or Swiss boarding school, besides it being an expensive “learning place” with high fees?
(這段的問題比較大,上文說 “hardly understands the philosophy” 然後下文說 “apart from being”,邏輯上有點難以理解。除了我的 besides it being,當然用才子的 apart from 也可以;但就算用 apart from 都一定要加 comma 和 “it”,否則是錯。)
陶傑:Or is it only a matter of multiculturalism that such people tend to attribute all questions based on facts and common sense that they are unable to answer logically to ‘being sarcastic‘?
葉某:Or perhaps it is merely down to multiculturalism, that when people are unable to understand an argument and respond with common sense and logic, such people tend to disregard facts and dismiss all questions and other opinions as ‘being sarcastic’?
(同樣也只是 style 問題,但明顯地我的 style 在這個情況下更能清晰表達當中意思。Dismiss 一個字簡單,但語氣強烈,是好字。)
陶傑:If so, is it exactly the reason why you go to a Western boarding school to avoid asking questions of this kind when you grow up (No, I wouldn’t say ‘avoid being so Chinese’ as it sounds, hm, a bit sensitive as the debate of how a global virus should be accurately name is going on) ?
葉某:If so, isn’t it exactly the reason why you go to a Western boarding school to avoid responding in this way when you grow up? (I’ve refrained from saying ‘avoid being so Chinese’ as it sounds a bit sensitive whilst the debate of how a global virus should be accurately named is going on)
(應該是 isn’t it exactly 而不是 is it exactly 吧,我猜是他的 typo 而已。)
陶傑:Interesting, hey?
葉某:Food for thought, hey?
(更寸自然更型,no?)
陶傑:So, the last thing I’d love to see is you guys staging a street protest demanding my apology and withdrawal of my earlier Facebook message, as Dr Yuen Kwok-yung (or Dr Yuan Guo-Yong) just did. Chinese tend to get boiled up and fuming rather easily nowadays.
葉某:So, lastly, what I’d love to see is you guys staging a street protest demanding an apology and withdrawal of my earlier Facebook message, as Dr Yuen Kwok-yung (or Dr Yuan Guo-Yong) just did. The Chinese tend to get riled up and fuming rather easily nowadays.
(在下不才,真的沒有聽過 boiled up 可以用 passive voice,所以我改了 get boiled up,用了 get riled up。)
又懶了一個早上,夠鐘放飯。
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