10 years after my divorce的八卦，Yahoo名人娛樂都在討論

As I headed downstairs to prep dinner this evening, I caught glimpse of this precious sight. Some of you may not know this but Tim struggled massively in his first year of fatherhood. To say we were on the brink of divorce would be an understatement. I'm not going to go into too much detail here (I'm sure some of you would have read all about it) but somehow, we manage to hold tight to each other and overcome one of our biggest obstacles in our relationship. In some parts of the body, the bone grows back STRONGER after being broken. Our relationship HAD to get worse to get better. A great love isn't about confetti hearts and butterflies. It's not about being perfect and having no arguments. A great love is also about OVERCOMING hardship together. Despite loving my son so much, I was also scarred from the past. I remember explaining to Tim that I loved him too much to risk our marriage going into jeopardy again and so, I did not want to risk having another child. Crazy how things can change. Here I am typing this post whilst my husband is putting our 10 month daughter to sleep. We could no be happier with how life turned out. Tim has blossomed so much over the past four years and I could not be more proud of this man. To Isaac, you are the most invincible being on earth and I'm so thankful that you get to be Ayla's first love. We’re so lucky to have you, daddy!

[翻轉視界 3] 媽媽是世界上最辛苦工作

To all the mothers out there, thank you for your sacrifices and happy Mother’s Day!

辛苦了， 媽媽們!

★★★★★★★★★★★★

原文及圖片授權來自於 Humans of Taipei和台灣社區實踐協會

結婚前，我在日商公司的工廠工作，當到管理幹部，本來也存了一筆錢準備婚後買房，沒想到婚後，根本來想的完全不一樣。

Before I got married, I worked in a factory ran by a Japanese company. I worked my way up to management and saved some money to purchase a house after marriage. Little did I expect how different life would be after I got married.

1. work your way up/to the top 逐步達成: https://bit.ly/2La73Eu

2. little did somebody know/realize/think 用來說某人不知道或認為某事會發生或是真的: https://bit.ly/2SJ7s4Z

★★★★★★★★★★★★

我和前夫是朋友介紹認識的。一直以來，我在感情裡面都沒什麼自信、處於弱勢，總是被拋棄的那一方。之前也有個男友曾經論及婚嫁，但他媽媽嫌我內向不會講話，沒辦法幫忙做生意，所以後來還是分手了。我跟前夫交往沒有幾個月就結婚，那時候覺得他在公司工作五、六年，應該很有定性，感覺也是個顧家、愛小孩的人。雖然不致於大富大貴，但夫妻倆應該可以過個穩定的幸福生活。

My ex-husband and I were introduced by friends. I have never had much confidence in my relationships. I was always the weaker half, the one who was always left behind. Before my ex-husband, I had a boyfriend who proposed marriage, but his mother felt that I was too much of an introvert and could not help him manage his business. We parted ways in the end. My ex-husband and I got married a few months after we began dating. He had been working in his company for five to six years at the time, so I felt he had a stable life. He also felt like a family man and one who loves children. While he was not rich, I felt we could live a stable and happy life.

3. have confidence in… 對…有信心
4. propose marriage 提出結婚、論及婚嫁
5. introvert 性格內向者
6. part ways 分開
7. see each other 交往，談戀愛
8. a family man 關心家庭的人
9. stable life 穩定的生活

★★★★★★★★★★★★

婚後，陸續生下大女兒和小兒子，兩個差三歲，但都是我在養。老公婚後都是半夜才回家，而且他除了房租以外，其餘生活開銷都不肯出。我盡量維持他在外的形象，都沒有跟別人說。因為實在沒錢，我還曾經打去他的公司，問老闆什麼時候發薪水？老闆很驚訝地跟我說，他的薪水比廠長還高，我們應該生活無虞才對。

After marriage, we had our eldest daughter and a son three years later, but I had to raise them myself. My husband would always return home after midnight, and he never paid for any living expenses other than rent. I tried to help maintain his image so I kept silent. However, I just did not have enough money, so I called his company one day and asked his boss when he would be paid. His boss was surprised. He told me that my husband’s salary was higher than that of the factory director and we should not have to worry about basic necessities.

10. raise 撫養
11. pay living expense 支付生活開銷
12. maintain one’s image 維持形象
13. factory director 廠長
14. basic necessities 基本生活必需物品與花用

★★★★★★★★★★★★

我實在不知道他半夜都去哪，把錢花到哪去。總之，我一直苦撐，我總覺得小孩要有爸爸、要有完整的家庭；撐越久，又覺得「我都已經撐這麼久了」，如果現在放棄的話，那不就前功盡棄了嗎？本來要用來買房子的存款，為了養小孩，全部花完，後來我幾乎一天只吃一餐，最慘的時候，還曾經母子三人吃一個便當。

I really didn’t know where he went in the middle of the night, and where he spent all his money. I hung on because I felt that the children must have a father and a complete family. I thought that I had already hung on for so long—if I had given up, then everything would have been for nothing. The money I had saved to purchase a house was completely spent on my children. I could only eat one meal a day, and at times the three of us would only share a single lunchbox.

15. hang on 堅持*
16. at times 有時
17. lunchbox 便當

*hang on (5): https://bit.ly/3frV9Uf

★★★★★★★★★★★★

你能想像嗎？我家沒有電視也沒有電腦，冷氣壞了沒辦法修，洗衣機壞了，我只能手洗衣服。社工問我，為什麼小孩身上臭臭的？我也不知道該怎麼說，因為他們的衣服本來就是二手的，而且我只能手洗，他們一流汗就臭了。還好，我去工作之後，偶爾可以把衣服拿去投幣式洗衣機啦。

Could you imagine what we went through? There wasn’t a TV or a computer in our house. Even when the air conditioner or the washing machine was broken, we could not fix it. I had to wash the clothes by hand! The social worker would ask me why the kids’ clothes stank, and I did not know what to tell them. Thankfully, after I began working, we could occasionally take our clothes to a coin-operated laundromat.

18. go through 遭受，經歷，經受（苦難等）
19. stink (v.) 散發異味，發出難聞的氣味
20. thankfully 通常用於句首，表示高興或感激）幸好，幸虧
21. coin-operated laundromat 投幣式洗衣店*

*launderette: https://bit.ly/2Wb8FUz

★★★★★★★★★★★★

我苦撐了十年才離婚，後來徹底心寒，是因為債務問題。我前夫不拿錢回家，我只能用信用卡去大賣場採買日常用品，前夫要買什麼，也會要我刷卡，甚至還要幫他付電話費，一個月就兩萬元。我說我不幫你繳，他說好阿，那被停話你跟小孩就找不到我了。就這樣債務累積越來越多，到最後，我只好跟銀行談妥還債計畫，跟娘家借錢還債。這也讓我決定離婚。

I hung on for a decade before filing for divorce. I found out later that my ex-husband had debt problems. He did not bring any money home, so I could only use credit cards to purchase groceries. Whatever he wanted to buy, he would ask me to use my card. I even had to pay his phone bills. Sometimes the bills amounted to 20,000 a month, so I told my husband I would not pay. "That's fine, but then you and the kids wouldn't be able to reach me anymore, " he said. The debts piled up until finally, I negotiated a debt settlement with the bank and asked my in-laws for money to pay the bank. I decided to file for divorce afterward.

22. get a divorce 離婚
23. debt problem 債務問題
24. purchase groceries 購買食品雜貨
25. pile up（使）（不好的事物）增加，（使）累積
26. debt settlement 還債計畫*
27. in-laws 姻親
28. file for divorce 在法庭提起離婚訴訟

*debt settlement https://bit.ly/3djBofy

★★★★★★★★★★★★

目前，我們還跟前夫住在一起，因為要搬出去，就得準備兩個月的押金和第一個月的租金，我得要努力存錢才有能力處理。阿山他們介紹我去超市工作，我希望超市趕快開幕，我才有辦法趕快賺錢搬出去。

At present, my children and I are still living with my ex-husband, because you need to have a two-month deposit and payment for the first month to rent a place. I have to work harder and save. Ah Shan and them (social workers) found me a job at a supermarket. I wished it would open soon so I could save and move out.

29. deposit 押金
30. social worker 社工

★★★★★★★★★★★★

其實，哪個女生不希望嫁個好老公？但是老公再有錢，沒有真心愛妳都沒用；即使老公賺不多，但只要願意顧家，那就是好老公。

All girls want a good husband. However, if your husband doesn't really love you, it doesn't matter how rich he is. Even if your husband does not make much, if he cares for his family, then he is a good husband.

★★★★★★★★★★★★

資訊與照片出處:
https://bit.ly/2WFeqsz

Visit Humans of Taipei for more stories!

★★★★★★★★★★★★

如何增進同理心: https://bit.ly/34qSKnC

Humans of Taipei: https://bit.ly/2S2Avjz

台灣社區發展協會: https://bit.ly/3cfRqHq

#ChangingPerspectives
#翻轉視界

【 How To Lose Your Startup in 10 Ways 】

There are many guides out there that give you tips on what do to run your startup, but after a few years of observing different kind of founders, I noticed there were some common situations that led to bigger, unnecessary mistakes that might be irreversible. Here are the quick and dirty tips to losing your startup quickly if you’re just starting out:

1. Pick the wrong co-founder or team: If you decide you’re not going solo for your startup, then you’ll need to understand that co-founders come in all shapes and sizes, and getting into a co-founder partnership is like committing to a long-term relationship. Some even liken it to a marriage. If you don’t maintain a healthy relationship with your co-founder, it may end in a divorce or cause your startup journey to come to a halt.

2. Forget about your cash flow: If you pay for nice-to-haves instead of just the necessities, you might be faced with a higher burn and a shorter runway — can you afford that right now?

3. Lack of attention to trends: If you don’t stay curious and observant to your surroundings, you might miss out on the perfect opportunity to take your idea to the next level.

4. Poor IR skills: The startup community is relationship-driven, so think twice before burning your bridges.

5. Start scaling before you’re ready: Make sure you’ve found PMF and excited users before stretching yourself too thin.

6. Fundraising without a good rationale: We see fundraising news all the time which is tempting to think that raising funds is a milestone or goal. What are your reasons to start asking investors for their money?

7. Unrealistic expectations about startup life: Being a founder is a tough journey that requires a lot of investment and commitment. Ask yourself if you’re willing to make the sacrifices and take the risks of being an entrepreneur for the long-term. Many founders think they can achieve success in 3 years when in fact it might be a 10-year commitment.

8. De-prioritize HR: Sometimes it’s easy to take culture for granted at an earlier stage. As you grow, think about how it will affect your team. Without the right checks and balances in place, culture may not grow in a healthy way which will affect the way the startup is run and how fast you can execute.

9. Lose control of your cap table: Be selective and intentional about who you want your shareholders to be. If you don’t have the right people giving you the right support, you may lose direction, which leads me to my final point…

10. Shop for advice: It’s tempting to get as much help as possible, but not all advice is right for you. Make sure you know how to filter out which advice to pay attention to or you might end up losing your startup.

Disclaimer: please don't try these at home ;)

By: Natalie Feng Lin, Analyst

Hello friends,

I hope you're well. I know I don't appear here very often but as always, I do MISS YOU GUYS very very much. Long time no catch up here. This month, instead of doing the usual Q&A on Instagram, I decided to film it on Youtube instead. Thank you so much for submitting your your questions through Instagram (follow me @itsbubz). You guys asked some really great insightful questions and why this video ended up being much longer than expected so feel free to grab a snack and beverage.

I know the video is a bit blurry. I apologise. I STILL don't know how to focus my camera after over 10 years..... Bad Bubz.

Your questions:
1. What do you miss the most right now?
2. Have you changed since your divorce?
3. The most difficult lesson you’ve learnt in life?
4. How to deal with end of relationship without closure?
5. What would your younger self be most proud of if she knew you now?
6. How do get over being cheated on? My self esteem/self love is even lower.
7. How do you get over shame from your past actions?
8. How do you handle the fear of rejection?
9. How to not fear approaching 30 and single?
10. How do you train Isaac to be so sweet?
11. Favourite Christmas movie?
12. If you had a high paying job but not happy, will you stay in this company?
13. How to not care about people pleasing and being perfect?
14. Are you ready to fall in love again?
15. What are your plans for Christmas this year?
16. Are you dating?
17. What was your recent dream?
18. How do you know of a person’s true intentions?
19. How to break through family expectations?
20. What is your first travel destination after covid lock down?
21. Any big plans and future projects?
22. How do you become your happiest self?


As always, please continue to take care of yourself and your heart.

All my love,
your friend Bubz xo



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With National Adoption Month in the US coming up in November, and the recent drama involving the most high profile entry on this list, it seems an appropriate time to make this video.

1. Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie is who everyone thinks of when it comes to a Hollywood celebrity with an adopted Asian child. Actually she has two, Maddox from Cambodia and Pax from Vietnam.

In 2001, Jolie applied to adopt 7 month old, Rath Vibol from an orphanage in Battambang, Cambodia. Unfortunately, this didn’t seem to go well. The adoption process was halted soon after when the US government banned adoptions from Cambodia amid allegations of child trafficking.

When it was all said and done, when the investigation was over, fortunately for Jolie, the adoption of Rath Vibol was deemed lawful. Jolie brought him back to the States and renamed him Maddox. 5 years later, Maddox became older brother to Pax, who Jolie adopted from an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam.

Today, Maddox is a regular 15 year old kid, who can sometimes be seen with a shaggy bleached blonde mohawk, and who has a long distance girlfriend who lives in England.

Unfortunately, 2016 marked the end of Brangelina, as Angelina Jolie & husband Brad Pitt are now going through a Hollywood divorce involving 6 kids.

2. Katherine Heigl

Heigl actually grew up with an older sister, Meg, who was adopted from South Korea.

Heigl says: “I wanted my own family to resemble the one I came from, so I always knew I wanted to adopt from Korea.”

Her husband singer/songwriter, Josh Kelley initially questioned whether Heigl’s vision for their family was indeed right for him.

In 2009, she got the call from the Korean adoption agency that there was a baby girl for her to adopt named Mi-Eun. There was one issue though, she had a congenital heart defect and had recently undergone open heart surgery.

Despite the uncertainty surrounding her well-being, her future health, Heigl opted to adopt Mi-Eun, naming her Naleigh.

3. Ewan McGregor

McGregor has been in many documentaries including one called Long Way Round where he goes on a 19000 mile journey from London To New York City on a motorcycle, traveling through Europe and Asia, visiting several UNICEF programs along the way.

It was on this trip in 2004, passing through Mongolia, where he met 2 year old Jamyan, an abandoned orphan. Soon afterwards, he adopted her.

4. Meg Ryan

The star of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless In Seattle & You’ve Got Mail, was elated, when, in 2006, she was notified by the Chinese adoption agency that they had assigned her a 14 month old baby girl. I say assigned because the adoption process in China is like a lottery system, and Ryan had no say in the selection process of her child, who she later named Daisy True

Despite Daisy being randomly assigned to her, Ryan has stated “I am convinced, completely that there was nothing random about it. She is the daughter I should have.”

5. John McCain

Right now the world is watching Hillary & Trump tear each other to bits. 8 years ago it was Obama & McCain going at it for the presidency.

While McCain, was able to become the republican presidential nominee in 2008, his previous attempt in 2000 failed. He had lost to George W. Bush in large part due to an underground smear campaign that falsely claimed McCain had fathered a black child.

In actuality, that ‘black child’ was Bridget, his daughter that he adopted from Bangladesh. Bridget was Bengali, and Bengali people are darker skinned.

Many people said the McCains should be ashamed of her color. The vile campaign had voters being called up by the thousands, being informed that McCain had a black baby and that was reason enough to not vote for him.

Funnily enough, John McCain did not know of his wife’s decision before hand and when he arrived at the Arizona airport to pick her up from her trip from Bangladesh, he was confused as to why his wife was holding a dark Asian baby.

He asked ‘who is she?’ and ‘where is she going?’

Cindy replied ‘To our house’

Despite the initial shock, he has said that Bridget has since enriched their lives.

Thanks for watching! And if you enjoyed this video, don't forget to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE ^^

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Tags: AMWF / Asian Stereotypes / Asian adoptee stories / Asian adoptee story / Asian adoptees