ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?!
Real #momlyfe using the PLEASE tool.
***
Ella Grace was feeling pretty yucky when she woke up from her nap so we decided to flush her nose.
I was in the middle of making dinner and had a roast in the oven w the timer on so it’s about as real as it gets in terms of being on a time crunch but wanting to stay present and hold a boundary at the same time.
***
PREP
***
She loves watching old baby videos of us demonstrating so part of our PREP was her asking mama if we could video her flushing which is why I was recording.
Notice I also pick my battles when she asked if mama would flush for her instead of her doing it on her own like she usually does. That’s a super important tool to add to your arsenal - pick your battles! 😅❤️💪
***
LISTEN
***
We ran through this really fast because immediately after I flushed her, she’s so stuffed up, the sinus pressure on her ear hurts so it’s quite obvious why she doesn’t want to continue.
***
EMPATHIZE
***
My mama heart is totally broken as I empathize with her both verbally and non-verbally, getting down to her level, holding her when she needs me to and giving her space when she doesn’t want me to but wants me to just sit with her while she works through it.
***
ACKNOWLEDGE
***
I validate her feelings of frustration, hurt, sadness, and just really acknowledge how much she does not want to do this at all.
I don’t reason with her (yet) but just say I understand what the problem is, why you don’t want to do it, what hurts, why you are frustrated, etc.
***
SIT
***
I just hold space for her while staying calm, present, and confident. I hold my boundary (she has to flush her nose and I have to go back to my roast at some point so it doesn’t burn) but do it with love and respect.
Holding your boundary doesn’t mean you have to yell your way through nor does it mean that you have to be cold.
Crying is also not a bad thing and not something to be afraid of. Crying is her way of communicating all the things she may not have words for yet and she is also releasing and emptying her emotional tank in a safe space.
Please also notice daddy in the background holding space for us. He is close by but doesn’t interrupt. Ready to step in if we need him (or my roast needs him) but doesn’t step in or interfere or literally add more cooks to the kitchen.
***
EMPOWER
***
Notice the subtle crescendo as she starts to deescalate and is ready to listen now.
She is able to hear and understand the why now and I empower her with understanding why her ear hurts, what we are going to do, what we are going to use, when and let her ask whatever she needs clarity on.
Knowledge is power for little ones and gives them the confidence to understand the problem. It’s age-appropriate information and because she understands what is happening, she is more likely to cooperate.
I’ve also slowed down time for her and given her a chance to respond and be in charge of the problem. Equipping and empowering her so she is in charge of her body.
I let her take the lead and she ends up flushing her sinuses w a smile and even wants to do her medicine by herself too.
👏🙌🎉
***
We ended up recording the entire thing because she had wanted to take a video of her flushing. I usually try to respect her privacy when she’s having a “hard” moment because I’m the Child & Family Development Specialist but she should just get to be a child.
However I did ask her permission if I could share this as I think it perfectly captures how we use Respectful Parenting and the RACHEAL method in everyday very real life, when your little one is feeling yucky, when you have a million things to do as a mama, when your heart is breaking but also needing to stay calm and confident for her.
Please let me know if you have any questions or you can also follow me on ig (rachealkwacz) or fb (Racheal Kwacz - Child & Family Development Specialist) for more.
momlyfe 在 Momlife - inspirational quotes, me quotes, wise words - Pinterest 的八卦
momlife. The moments. Big and small. Loving and living them all ❤. ·. 3,108 Pins. 47w. JoyOfMom. Collection by. Joy of Mom. Similar ideas popular now. ... <看更多>