很喜歡Mark Zuckerberg寫得這篇文章
關於身邊的人如何影響你的決定和行為
其實他想表達的就是「近朱者赤,近墨者黑」吧!
推薦大家有時間可以看看唷~
My personal challenge this year is to visit every state I haven't spent time in before to learn about people's hopes and challenges, and how they're thinking about their work and communities.
After my early trips, people asked me what I was learning but I wanted to be careful not to generalize because every state is so different. I have a lot more to learn, but I'm starting to see some common threads.
My biggest takeaway so far is that our relationships shape us more than we think -- how we consider opportunities, how we process information, and how we form habits. There is a lot of discussion about inequality, but one under-looked dimension of inequality is in the makeup of our social networks.
There's a widely held myth that if people in other places just had better information they'd make better decisions. I've found this is generally wrong and the people I've met are rational. Now, it's true we're all missing some information that would help us make better decisions no matter where we live. But the people I've met have good reasons for the decisions they make based on their experiences and those of their friends and family.
The more fundamental issue seems to be the friends and family we surround ourselves with. This is a powerful force upstream of the information we receive and it determines how we process and factor it into our decisions.
I'll share three stories about how our relationships affect very different social problems.
First story: I was in Ohio and sat down with recovering heroin addicts. They told me the first step in fighting addiction is to detox, but the second is to get completely new friends. If you stay friends with the people you were using with -- or even with people who are using on their own -- you're almost guaranteed to relapse. It's tough when those people are your close friends and even tougher when they're your family, but building new relationships is the most important predictor of staying clean.
This isn't a matter of information. These recovering addicts all know heroin is bad for them and they know they shouldn't use it. But the people around you are a much stronger influence than information. So to move forward, we need to operate on the level of helping people build better relationships, not just getting them information.
Second story: I was in Indiana at a juvenile justice center. Some of the kids had committed serious crimes like murder or robbery, but others had just misbehaved in class. The most striking fact is that those kids are more likely to become criminals after going through detention than they were before they went in. The correctional system is building a negative and self-reinforcing social network.
Similar to the first story, these kids know crime is bad and they don't want to go to prison. But we all model our behavior on people around us. If we want to help them, we should help these kids build positive relationships with role models.
Third story: This one is about economic upward mobility. When I was driving through some depressed areas in the south, I was struck by how few people move to seek better opportunities elsewhere. It turns out there's good research showing how a lot of economic inequality comes from our lack of willingness or ability to move geographically. (See Raj Chetty's work here: equality-of-opportunity.org/neighborhoods)
From my conversations, a lot of people's decisions about whether to move depend on their friends and family in a couple of ways. First, if you grow up in a place where all your friends and family move away for college or to seek a job, then that sets an example for you. The reverse is also true, and if all your friends and family stay home, that sets a norm too. Second, and perhaps stronger, if all your friends and family move away for opportunities, there is less reason to stay where you grew up. On the other hand, if all your friends and family stay in the same place, there is a strong pull back home.
I've heard lots of stories of people who went away to college, but when they had kids they needed help, and since childcare is so expensive, they moved back home to be closer to their family. Coming home has great advantages, but if you don't have a diversity of friends and family who can expose you to different things, that may limit your ability to find opportunity.
I've seen lots of more stories like the three above that point to your friends and family as the most powerful force in shaping your path, including positive ones.
In Detroit, I met community leaders who turned an abandoned building into a safe place where kids can hang out after school. The founder told me: "We want kids to be able to think again, and that comes from seeing men and women who care about what they do. We've got whole neighborhoods of kids just waiting for someone to give them a sense of purpose."
This isn't a scientific study and it requires further research, but I think there's something to this idea that your relationships shape your path more than we realize.
I also think this is an area where Facebook can make a difference. Some of you have asked if this challenge means I'm running for public office. I'm not. I'm doing it to get a broader perspective to make sure we're best serving our community of almost 2 billion people at Facebook and doing the best work to promote equal opportunity at the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative.
In many ways, relationships are the most important things in our lives -- whether we're trying to form healthy habits, stay out of trouble, or find better opportunities. And yet, research shows the average American has fewer than three close friends we can turn to for support.
Facebook has been focused on helping you connect with people you already know. We've built AI systems to recommend "People You May Know". But it might be just as important to also connect you with people you should know -- mentors and people outside your circle who care about you and can provide a new source of support and inspiration.
There are a number of models for how this might work. The Peace Corps creates service opportunities where people exchange culture and build new relationships. Perhaps we could build a new digital peace corps. Another model is Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, where people who have struggled with these challenges and overcome them go on to become mentors for others, with the hope of training them to one day become mentors themselves. This is something I've only recently started studying and working with our teams at Facebook to build.
One thing I've been inspired by is that if we can just help a few percent of people, that can make a huge positive impact on our society overall. On the unfortunate side, even though only a few percent of people are addicted to opioids, we all know someone affected by this. But that also means that if we can just help a few percent of people build new positive relationships, that will affect all of us as well. That gives me hope that we can do this.
My hope is that we can help more people build positive relationships with people who expand their sense of possibility. I believe that if we do this, we will make progress on a lot of our greatest opportunities and challenges.
I hope a lot of you have challenged yourselves to get out and learn from other perspectives this year too. I'd love to hear your stories and reflections as well.
同時也有2部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過283萬的網紅bubzbeauty,也在其Youtube影片中提到,Top 10 Schoolbag essentials for your SOS High School Kit: http://www.bubzbeauty.com/bubbi-likes/182-high-school-sos-kit.html Hi guys, For this m...
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- 關於i hope you are doing well and staying healthy 在 Sending you love and a big hug. I hope you are doing well ... 的評價
- 關於i hope you are doing well and staying healthy 在 Dealing With Real Life On A Carnivore Diet - YouTube 的評價
i hope you are doing well and staying healthy 在 Arisa Chow Facebook 八卦
Very well said
https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1556442621110141&id=145482782206139
This is an open letter to Liui / Liui Aquino.
I write to you as a fellow member of our international community, with the hope of sharing with you some wisdom regarding dispute handling, professionalism and how to properly raise awareness.
You recently started a series of ongoing posts to condemn and expose the negative conduct, character and moral compass of a cosplayer you insist to keep anonymous.
Since you’re not willing to say the name, I will. You are talking about Japanese cosplayer Reika.
When I saw your posts on my feed, I was disappointed, heartbroken and embarrassed. I was disappointed not by you speaking out against someone or the fact that that someone is my friend, but the way you have chosen to do so in such a wildly unprofessional manner. I was heartbroken to see the reveal of your vindictive character under the happy-go-lucky symbol of positivity that your fans know and love you for being, and by how you have used it to manipulate your most loyal fans. I was embarrassed that our cosplay community, which is already commonly known enough for being dramatic, now has another smear on its reputation.
I've known Reika since 2011. Since then we’ve attended events as fellow casual attendees, featured guests, competition judges, etc.
While all of my experiences with her have been great, she is, like you and me, human – flawed and emotional, susceptible to becoming tired, busy or annoyed, and inevitably going to have likes and dislikes for things and for people. So I can only speak for myself and I won’t even pretend to doubt that she’s capable of making someone feel awful. I’m not here to defend her character or deny your anguish. After all, you are human too and it’s completely acceptable for you to have feelings.
What is not acceptable is the manipulative hate mongering aggression with which you’ve addressed your issues with. Your posts opened by promoting 1.“awareness”, 2. “facts”, 3. “positivity” and being "healthy", and 4. “stay(ing) away from drama”. Yet, your post does exactly zero of those things. You stated that you’re “willing to put (your) reputation on the line and “expose” her, while doing neither.
1. AWARENESS: To raise awareness, you must be specific and purposeful.
I'm aware that you’ve made your issue public because you have no options of resolving this matter privately or through event staff. But by going public, you inevitably reach people who have no knowledge of what’s going on. So it was important for your post to be specific, clean and free of insults and rhetoric.
In your post, comments and follow up posts, you’re so adamant about not naming Reika that you’re “BEGGING (EVERYONE) NOT TO DROP ANY NAMES IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO GUESS THE NAME”. You didn’t expose anyone; you made people guess. You purposely made your information open to assumption. While your “clues” might be obvious enough, your ambiguity has consequences. People will guess wrong, leading to misdirected hate and worry.
You raised confusion, not awareness.
Despite your declaration, you're in fact not “willing to gamble (your) reputation and expose (her) by all means”. You’re not interested in being “respectful to (Reika’s) career” by not saying her name - it was an easy enough guess. You’re interested in firing the first shot as the victim and instigating a witch hunt built on assumption without having to be accountable. It’s a very underhanded and cowardly look from someone of your position.
2. Presenting FACTS when raising awareness: WHAT? WHO? WHY? WHEN? WHERE? HOW?
- WHAT is the problem? – Eg. Talents with bad attitude
- WHO do people need to be wary of? – Eg. Reika
- WHY do you think this? – Eg. She said or did or represented something that was offensive. [INSERT ACTION, QUOTE and CONTEXT that justifies this.]
- WHEN and WHERE did this happen? – Eg. [INSERT TIME] we worked together at [INSERT EVENT].
- HOW does this affect you and people similar to you, and HOW can things be made right? – Eg. It makes you feel [INSERT FEELING]. I would feel better if [INSERT WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO].
You can’t claim to be factual when your post written in the form of an episodic internet series with names like “CHAPTER 1: Juicy Blind Item”. You can’t claim to be “not just personal opinions” when your post are riddled with mockery like “SHE HAS NO SOUL”, taunting like “you picked the wrong fight ma’am” and general hearsay accusations that give no detail like “how do I know? Because I heard...”
You definitely shouldn’t be offering to give “proper advice how to handle this kind of situation” like an “elder brother” if reacting like an undisciplined child is your answer.
3. POSITIVITY and HEALTH: Promoting positivity in a healthy community means bringing people up to your level – not to knocking someone down.
It’s embarrassing to see you trying to be an ambassador for positivity and “praying to God for peace” while slinging threats like “I WILL BURN YOU TO ASHES, BITCH” throughout your posts, and even saying “YOU WILL HATE HER MORE when you see the next story!!! Grrrrrr hahahahaha” when replying to comments.
It’s hypocritical of you to claim to be acting on behalf of the community when you mock Reika fans within your community by calling them “elitist” while flaunting your fans as the “cool, funny, SMART” people.
You must realise that, with the size of your following, you have loyal fans who stick by you, trust and support you no matter what. It’s your duty to them to be transparent and professional and not manipulate their trust. Many of your supporters expressed unconditional support for you. Some have even accepted your words as the absolute truth and expressed hate for Reika from reading your posts. Why? They have faith in you. You've shamelessly abused their trust.
Your post and comments are telling of your intentions. You don’t want peace. You want more hate.
That’s not healthy or positive... for you, your fans or the community.
4. STAYING OUT OF DRAMA: saying it doesn’t mean you’re doing it.
How can you claim not to want drama when your posts are written in the form of an episodic web series, with sensational titles like “CHAPTER 1: Juicy Blind Item”, and attention grabbing introductions like “you want REAL cosplay drama?” and sign outs like “Chapter 2, 3, 4 are coming soon”?
You are, by definition, creating drama.
In life there are many things we can’t control and just as many things we can control. We can’t control how people treat us, what they think of us, or how that makes us feel. But we can can control how we treat others, how we look at ourselves and what we do with our feelings.
You can’t make Reika like you or treat you in the way that you feel good. But you are in control of how you act upon it.
There are two ways you can combat bad attitude:
1. Fight back with equally bad attitude
2. Snuff it out by encouraging good attitude
I can’t help but think that you acted in pure frustrated retaliation.
It’s been hard to see you reveal yourself in this way. The global cosplay community is in continuous struggle to maintain a positive, fun and (for some people) professional environment. With your post, it feels like we’ve lost a star.
I won’t tell you to control or suppress your emotions; you are human after all, like said before.
But please. Reflect before you react. Be kind to others. Your actions speak louder than your words. The people are not stupid or blind. They will notice.
I hope you can find the peace and resolution you are looking for.
- AmenoKitarou (A.K. Wirru)
i hope you are doing well and staying healthy 在 bubzbeauty Youtube 的評價
Top 10 Schoolbag essentials for your SOS High School Kit: http://www.bubzbeauty.com/bubbi-likes/182-high-school-sos-kit.html
Hi guys,
For this month's Girl Talk episode- we'll be talking about 'Surviving High School'. I know High School started recently for you guys so I hope this will be a helpful video. This video is put together by fellow students who shared their best advice through twitter and facebook.
This is a lengthy video. I apologize if it's too long but I really wanted to make sure I wouldn't miss crucial details. There was a lot of information to condense into one video.
I'll be covering topics such as fitting in, friendship, boyfriends, goals and bullying.
High School is going to be a dramatic period of your life whether you like it or not. Good news is you're allowed to make lots of mistakes because its the time for experimentation. You'll learn so much in High School. I remember hating school back then but now I look back and I realize it was one of the best times in my life. After High School? Things get so much more complicated lol so make the most out of your teen years.
Remember whatever you are feeling in High School, you are not alone. I was bullied during High School and I came out fine right? You guys will be alright. I promise you. Set your priorities straight and stay focused. You're not in School to be Miss Popular. You're in School to prepare for your future.
I didn't want this video to be just about doing well. I also wanted to make sure you guys will look after your bodies by staying healthy. I'm sure there's more points I missed out so if you have a tip/advice you want to share- please do so. I know it will be greatly appreciated.
You're in school for a handful of years before you enter the bigger world. Make the most out of it. You might as well get on with everybody. As traumatic as it can be- you'll be alright. We're supposed to mess up. We're supposed to feel inadequate and awkward at this age (Infact, I'm still awkward today). Just be yourself. It suits you.
Thank you to everybody who submitted helpful advice for this episode. Next ep- we'll be talking about relationship & boys ^_^.
Much love, Bubz xx
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i hope you are doing well and staying healthy 在 MONGABONG Youtube 的評價
These Aprilskin products have been my go-to and I’ve been using them for the past week! Love how they make my skin glowwww and look translucent ? Also, I love how convenient and yummy the Glam D shakes are, I personally like to have them as an alternative for my sinful sweet treats whenever I’m craving for them in between meals!
Edit/ P.S You guys know I’m always an advocate for doing everything in moderation, so please listen to your body. Can’t stress enough on how exercise is super important too, so please make sure you’re getting enough good, healthy and balanced nutrients in your body as well! Dieting may be helpful in achieving your goals in the short run, but overdoing anything might not lead to the best outcomes. I trust that you guys will practice your own judgments and please stay safe and happy, always! ❤️
Also, got something for useful for my husband Matt and he smells soOoooo good!!! ?
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FAQ
Hello! My name is Mong Chin and I'm from sunny Singapore. I am 1.63m and I am Singaporean Chinese. I speak English, Mandarin and am currently learning Korean in my free time. I love all things beauty and fashion, and I also like to share my life here. I hope you guys enjoy watching my videos!
DISCLAIMER
Special thanks to Aprilskin for sponsoring some of the items used in this video. None of the links are affiliate links - I don't make money off of any purchase and they don't cost you anything extra!
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