(如果不想看我打的英文可以直接拉到下面看我另外打的中文)
Hello my people from Bao country just wanna show u guys the animation for the motions test of the pets Niku and Baku, and the super fierce attack motion of the Director Bao character. hopefully the game can be released without a hitch next month.
if it has decent sales I’m gonna have a talk with the engineers and the animators to have them add a bunch of bs functions.
And if everything goes well I’m gonna add in the “A-pei character that everyone loves so much, and there’ll also be a giant-sized Tibetan Mastiff : king of fat u can have as a pet.
I’ll let everyone know when it’s released.
There were people that used to look down on me, thinking that I ain’t worth shit being only able to draw.
I’ve encountered a self-centered, conceited mofo before during work,She was all saying that she wanted to collab with me to make a game but all she really wanted to do was to use my rep to do her own thing.
That fucking asshole thought she was the shit and everyone should bow down to her ass. She has fucking broken English skills but she was all like “I’m the fucking greatest in the world.”
She used to talk about how her mom opened up an English cram school for her, some shits about her studying abroad in England for fucking 9 weeks and that she’s da shit for doing so, and also she kept bragging that even the CEO thinks her English is very good.
But guess what tho, her retarded ass can’t even speak or write in proper English. She fucking not only spoke with a retarded accent but her grammar is all over the place, but yet she had the balls to bitch and laugh at others when they make a mistake in English, saying shit like “Didn’t that guy study in England, how come his writings are crap?”
And she would even use onomatopoeia phrases like “ewww” or “eek” or “ouch” to prove that her English is “authentic.”
U know what tho, if ur English is that good there’s no fucking need for u to show off like this or use berate others.
One time, I had enough and wrote a long ass complaint to the boss(About work stuff), that made her shut up for good cause the fucking retard wasn’t able to understand a word of that letter.
That bitch thought she’s better than everyone else and she’s not shy to it.
What’s make matters worse is that she hates dogs cause she thinks dogs are filthy animals.
When my dog Baku passed away she made some nasty remarks that I’ll never forgot and forgive her.
Honest to God I’ve never seen this kind of worthless piece of scum in life, that fucktard is the really the worst kind of piece of crap that I’ve ever met in my life.
Oh yea that stupid-ass motherfucking retard even once said that she was gonna work in Europe, but it’s all bs cause she aint even passed the job interview.
My violin teacher knows this retard too. My violin teacher was like: “dang girl this is hands down the worst kind of bitch being on earth”
Sorry for typing all this shit, just couldn’t stop once I got started.
I hope everyone supports the game that is about to be released.
My colleagues in Europe and I are super thankful of u guys ahhh!
給大家看一下泥褲和巴褲動作測試的動畫
還有寶總監角色超猛的攻擊動作
希望能在下個月順利發行遊戲
如果賣得不錯我就要跟工程師和動畫師吵鬧
要他們加入一些北爛的功能
如果順利一定會加入大家喜歡的阿培當角色
還有阿培最愛的超巨大的獒犬帝肥(阿肥)當寵物
到時遊戲釋出了再跟大家說
曾經有些人一直看衰我看不起我
因為我不喜歡念書上課都在睡覺
我不是不會念書是我不想念而已
他們覺得我只會畫圖沒屁用以後會餓死
只有我阿嬤支持我常常跟一些牌友炫耀
說我孫子畫的好漂亮啊之類的
但大部分的人都覺得我以後會沒出息
我之前的工作遇過一個非常自以為是又自私又跩的同事
說很想要跟我一起做遊戲然後利率對半分
我那時就覺得這個人心機很重為何我要授權給妳
我知道她只是想要利用我的名氣有夠現實的
(還很跩說不做也沒差啊我不求妳我有收集其他作家的資料等等)
那個混蛋覺得自己很唱秋
其他人都是白癡都很笨她很看不起別人
她曾經跟我說現在的人基因越來越差所以智商都很低
每天上班一副我超屌不屑跟大家講話的樣子
那傢伙英文明明很爛還在那邊很囂張
說什麼她媽以前為了她還開英文補習班
說她去英國遊學九個禮拜很屌
說老闆覺得她英文很好(老闆是加拿大華人)
幹放屁 講話文法錯一大堆王八蛋
她還會嘲笑其他人英文很差很爛
說英文差的人沒資格升上更高的職位
說那個誰誰誰知道不是去英國唸書
怎麼打出這種爛英文啊之類的
那傢伙還會故意學外國人的噁或其他語助詞(例如好痛之類)
假裝自己是純正的在海外生活的華人
我覺得英文這種東西夠用就好
如果你的英文真的很強很屌
你他媽的就沒有必要像這樣炫耀或斥責別人
有一次我因為在工作上的事情很煩(上面的人一直塞東西給我)
我給我們CEO寫了一長篇全英文訊息抱怨和建議(關於工作)
然後我傳給她看她就閉嘴了(我很確定她沒看或是她用GOOGLE翻譯)
幹因為她根本看不懂全部的文章王八蛋
那人也看不起別人覺得自己很屌
一點都不會覺得不好意思
最糟糕的是她超討厭狗
她覺得狗很噁心很骯髒
她說她這輩子最討厭狗
在我的狗巴褲過世時她還對我說了超狠毒的話
我永遠不會忘記也永遠不會原諒她
老實說我一輩子沒看過這種爛貨
真的是我遇過人品最差最自私的垃圾
喔幹那傢伙曾經說要去歐洲工作等等
在那邊唱秋結果面試根本沒過
我小提琴老師也知道這個王八蛋
她說天啊這是世界上最爛的人類
真對不起打了這麼多狗屁
真是一打就停不下來真的很氣
希望大家支持我們即將上市的遊戲
我和我的歐洲同事們都超感謝你們
同時也有10000部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過62萬的網紅Bryan Wee,也在其Youtube影片中提到,...
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(小天使)#全民防疫 大家一起度過!❤️
#戴口罩 #勤洗手 #避免群聚
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#迷上英式英文【男神Cumberbatch的男神聲線】
#蕭叔叔講莎士比亞
演英國電視劇火紅的男神Benedict Cumberbatch擁有一把超重低音的磁性男生,身為聲音控的蕭叔叔,也不禁為之顛倒。這一短片,是Cumberbatch為BBC電視劇拍的廣告,題為A Lifetime of Original British Drama on the BBC。
其中他朗讀的一段文字,來自莎士比亞劇As You Like It的著名獨白All the World’s a Stage,講述人由呱呱墜地到衰老死亡的過程。全文如下。
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
蕭叔叔輕輕用廣東話粗略解釋大意:
人生如舞台上七段戲。
第一階段,係又嘈又嘔奶嘅手抱BB。
第二階段,係lur地唔願意返學嘅小學雞。
第三階段,係sighing like furnace,整天唉聲嘆氣,要生要死,對住小事如愛人條眼眉都可以作到首慘情詩嘅超難頂lovers。
第四階段,係滿口古怪誓言,終日打打鬧鬧,為榮譽連砲彈都唔怕嘅軍人。
然後第五階段,開始變成離地中產,成為又肥又貪,滿口道理嘅官。
第六階段,身形漸漸縮水,開始衣不稱身,聲線變弱,由雄厚聲線,變到老人家嗰D好似吹口哨嘅vee vee聲。
第七階段,係second childishness。也就是說,你點嚟,就會點去,變番好似BB仔一樣,冇牙、冇眼、冇味覺、乜9都冇。
同場加映,蕭叔叔上年在明報寫的文章:
【我有特別的學英文技巧-讀莎士比亞】蕭愷一
【明報專訊】讀莎士比亞,不應該是文學學生的專利。蕭叔叔的writing學生,不論長幼,都要讀莎士比亞的詩和劇。「點解要讀這些『英文的文言文』?」不少學生問。莎士比亞的的文字,的確同現代英文好不同,不論句式,詞序,用字,以至串法,都不一樣。假如不是要學寫古文,讀來作甚?主要有兩個原因。
第一,閱讀甚至背誦莎士比亞,有助掌握英文輕重音的節奏。英文這個語言,著重音節的輕重,這種輕重音相隔的節奏,好比中文的平仄,文筆是否流暢,好多時要看這個。不論寫作還是說話,不拿捏好輕重音,英文好難學得好。但這不是本文主旨,未來再跟大家詳談。
第二個原因,也是今天蕭叔叔要跟大家說的:多讀老莎的文字,有助解決寫作軟弱無力,言之無物,含糊不清,累贅不堪等港式英文常見的毛病。莎士比亞的文字有什麼特點?用字靈活多變而精簡,比喻新穎而深刻。今天蕭叔叔找來兩句取自莎士比亞的劇作和情詩的例子,跟大家一同感受他文字的創造力和感染力。
第一句來自戲劇 The Merchant of Venice。劇中反派角色猶太人 Shylock 借錢給男主角,合約訂明假如主角於時限前還不到錢,Shylock 就可割下他一磅重的肉,換句話說,就是要了他的命。後來主角週轉不靈,真的還不到錢,一直對主角恨之入骨的 Shylock 當然不會放過傷害主角的機會,有人問 Shylock 為何要堅持要履行合約,他說:
He hath disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies—and what’s his reason? I am a Jew. […]
蕭叔叔翻譯技巧平平,只道個大意出來:他(男主角)不單累我唔見錢,仲常常羞辱我,冷待我,嘲笑我,只因我是個猶太人。大家留意兩個簡單的字:cooled 和 heated。兩個在此都是動詞,cooled my friends,大意就是破壞我同朋友之間的友誼,使朋友離我而去;heated my enemies 就是煽動我的敵人。這兩個字,都簡潔到極,但意思好出,一看就明。大家不妨想想自己會怎樣表達這兩句的意思。英文平平的人,可能會把前半部寫成:
made me lose my friends,或
caused my friends to leave me,或
undermined the relationship between me and my friends,之類。
後半部可能會變成:
made my enemies hate me even more。
非常長氣,而且表達還不夠簡單一句 cooled my friends,heated my enemies 生動、深刻。這是大師的功力。
第二句來自老莎的情詩(他的情詩是一絕,將來找幾首同大家讀讀)。老莎跟情人的關係若即若離,有時好high,有時 insecure。有次他寫:
To leave poor me thou hast the strength of law, since why to love I can allege no cause.
他說,你要離開我,實在有太多太多的理由,像連法律都會站在你那邊,因為我從來都配不起你:I can think of no reason why you should love me and stay with me.
要離開我,you have the strength of law!假如你要走,像法律明文寫出一樣堂皇的道理,都在你那邊。可看到老莎在這段關係裏的地位是如何卑微。大家請留意,這句的字,都是很淺的,但意義深遠,比喻深刻。也看 allege 一字。因為,你為什麼要愛我,我一個理由都想不到。Allege 這個法庭常用的動詞,跟前句的比喻呼應。你為什麼要愛我?我一個理由都呈不上。幾可憐!
篇幅有限,先講到這裏,只希望大家也感受到老莎文字可愛之處。讀莎士比亞,不是為了要寫這些「文言文」,而是為了學習他運用文字的 spirit。
最後,由於這是蕭叔叔在本欄的第一篇文,在此向大家打個招呼,請大家多多指教。另外,叔叔也要戴個頭盔。蕭叔叔雖是個英文教與學的狂熱份子,但從未受過正式的語言學、文學、翻譯的訓練。假如有何錯漏,歡迎電郵或在 Facebook 指正,指點,討論,感謝萬分。
文:蕭愷一
作者簡介:蕭愷一,AKA蕭叔叔。夢想做男神,現實是大叔的英文教學狂熱份子,law grad,哲學碩士dropout,語言學愛好者。以 speak English like an educated native 為教與學的終極目標。Facebook專頁:蕭叔叔的英式英文學會 facebook.com/unclesiu
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