這兩天突然想起一件事。
MM我一直都不是個相信算命的人，當時出月子之前，想為歐里刻個印章，放他的臍帶跟少許胎毛在裡面留作紀念，在網路上查了幾家，由孩子的乾爸幫忙聯繫，最後選定了一家，接待人是一位阿姨，她非常親切，可是非常重禮俗，選日子與時辰等等，其實我都覺得還好，直到她說要幫歐里算命。
我坦白告訴她，我們是基督徒，我們不算命。
結果她還是在我寫下孩子出生年月日後，翻出她小冊子，幫孩子算命了。
來不及堵她的嘴，她已經說出：「這孩子脾氣不好！」
她說完之後，孩子哭了，很大聲地尖叫，接著她說：「妳看吧！」但其實孩子只是因為肚子餓而哭泣，嬰兒尖叫也很正常。
我為這件事氣了一陣子，我在想，我孩子才剛滿月，連聲媽都還不會叫，怎麼就說我孩子脾氣差？
我相信言語帶有力量，好的壞的話語都會對人帶來影響，在那之後，每次只要歐里哭鬧，我就會安慰他並且對他說：「好寶寶、乖寶寶，你是好脾氣的寶寶！」
如果寶貝是因為肚子餓而哭，我就會對他說：「好寶寶，謝謝你的等待，你是好有耐心的寶寶喔！」
一直到現在，歐里一歲多了，見過他或跟他玩過的人應該都知道，歐里除了想睡覺或是肚子餓會哭之外，他個性真的非常好，既不怕生又很會對人笑。
我不支持打罵教育，因為我相信正面的話語及脾氣才能帶出好性格的孩子。
很開心，歐里脾氣好又可愛！ :)
*照片是尚未滿月的歐里
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Some memories popped up in my mind these days…
I never believe in fortune telling. However, I was planning to make a stamp with Baby Oliver’s umbilical cord and some lanugo to memorize his birth before I leave the postpartum care center. Oliver’s God Father has got a list of recommended shops where I could make that kind of stamps and I chose one of them. The shop owner, a kind lady, put too much emphasis on Chinese traditions; therefore, she asked us to pick up a “good” date in the Chinese Lunar Calendar in order to shave Oliver’s lanugo. Her insistence on the “good” date in the Chinese Lunar Calendar drove me crazy.
I strongly mentioned I was a fervent Christian; therefore, I do not believe in fortune telling, nor do I consult them. The shop owner, the lady asked for Oliver's birthday date in Chinese lunar calendar. Despite my disagreement, she disregarded my belief and consulted anyway the Chinese Lunar Calendar for my baby. After, she predicted my baby will be a bad-tempered one; I was so upset I almost shut her mouth up. In addition, she used the fact that my baby started to cry while we were discussing to confirm her statement.
I have been very angry about this for a while. For my baby was not even one month old yet and wasn’t able to call me Mummy, I could not understand how someone, like this lady, could already define what kind of person he will be.
I believed that there is a power in our words, for good and/or bad words can affect our lives. Since my incident with the lady, whenever Oliver cries, I always tell him “Oliver, you are such a good baby with a good temper.” Even when he cries out for hunger, I will keep on telling him “Baby, thanks for your patience and for waiting. You are so patient and gentle.”
My son is now one year old, and anyone who ever played or took care of him, knew my baby only cries when he is either hungry or feels sleepy. They always view Olivier as a nice, gentle baby with a genuine smile.
I do not support any kinds of violent teaching approaches. On the contrary, I do believe with positive words and attitudes, we can develop positive characteristics in our children. For instance, I am so glad that Oliver has a very good temper because of the positive words and guidance.
He is such a cute and lovely boy!
*Photo credits: Baby Oliver wasn’t full month.
