sympathy meaning的八卦，YOUTUBE和Yahoo名人娛樂都在討論

เมื่อวานได้ดูหนังเรื่อง Molly's Game (ซึ่งถัดจากนี้จะมีการเผยเนื้อหาสำคัญของเรื่อง) เป็นเรื่องของนักกีฬาสกีสาวอนาคตไกลที่ถูกพ่อเทรนมาอย่างหนักหนา เข้มงวด กดดัน จนกระทั่งเกือบได้เหรียญโอลิมปิก แต่แล้วเธอก็พลาดไปเพียงเพราะสะดุดกิ่งสนที่โผล่ขึ้นมาจากพื้นหิมะของลานสกีทำให้ล้มคว่ำไม่เป็นท่า จากนั้นชีวิตก็ลากพาเธอเข้าสู่ด้านสีเทา กลายเป็นคนเปิดบ่อนโป๊กเกอร์ (ซึ่งลูกค้าในบ่อนมีแต่ผู้ชายระดับบิ๊กจากสารพัดวงการ) กระทั่งถูกจับ และเกือบต้องเข้าคุก ทั้งที่สมัยเรียนเธอเป็นเด็กเรียนดีมาก

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Continue ReadingYesterday, I watched Molly's game (next to this, the important content of the story). It was about the far future ski athlete who was trained by the father, pressured until almost got the Olympic Medal, but then she only missed it. Because of the pine branches that came up from the snow floor of the ski slope. Then life dragged her into the grey side to open poker. (there are only big men in the casino) Until I was arrested and almost went to jail in school. She was a very good student.

Molly and dad have always been so bad with how Molly feels that he loves her brother more than she is better at skiing). and dad feels like her daughter likes to interrupted and Molly. I hate dad harder when I know the secret that he cheated on mom.

The story comes to the end after disappearing from each other's lives. Both of them meet again at the ice rink in the middle of the city.

Father (which is an expensive psychiatrist) tells the child that all you have done for your life to win the father. Happiness from opening the casino is not because they get a lot of money. If it is the feeling that they have control those "men" to solve the knot when you were Command for the rest of my life.

Dad opened her an opportunity to ask. Molly asked how he felt about cheating on her mom because he felt like he did something too bad. Forgive him, control his mind and said yes, dad did what was bad but at least dad Well, raise three kids to grow up. One is a two-Time Olympic Champion. The other is a famous surgeon. The other earn hundreds of millions of millions (he means Molly) and dad says to Molly, " no one is perfect. But at least dad did the right thing "

My Dad's words, I thought he didn't say it to excuse himself, but this word heals Molly's mind as well.

Of course, this quote doesn't make people who do wrong things right because bad things deserve to get the consequences of that action, but this word makes us expand our perspective from looking at one person more.

When I'm angry, I hate someone, we often shrink our perspective. There are only narrow areas that we don't like. Remind that person in the same story and over and over again. Then that person becomes "just" that we forget other dimensions. His other stories are gone.

" Father " for Molly Shrinking the meaning to only " bad man who cheated on mother " even if he has other meaning, raised her to teach good things, strict, strict and disciplined or even the love that father gave you can't see.

In our life, there may be someone we accidentally " Judge " and shrink the perspective on him to only this narrow definition. The part that we try to answer his " fault " is because of us (who hates him) will become " Right side "

The worse he is, the more we get mad at him.
The more he is wrong, the more we are right.

...

Dad told Molly she saw that dad cheated on mom since she was five years old. Molly doesn't remember but it seems to be in her subconscious, so she was stubborn with her father and didn't like dad all the time. I knew that daughter saw secrets. I am ashamed every time I am in front of my child. I treat you without attachment like other people's children. These two things are reactions until it is a broken relationship of father. Cuddle kids.

When Molly expands his perspective on her father, she can love her father and receive love with other aspects of the father that mean positively to her.

With relationships in life, sometimes we aim for black spots on white paper and crush it with black pen repeatedly until the paper is torn through, forgetting that there is still a lot of white space to create good stories together.

Of course, some things are too painful to forgive. Distangence and step apart may be a better choice, but some hate is nice to expand your perspective to connect with other things.

As I said, this sentence heals Molly's " faults " together. As she grows up, she begins to have " faults " in life that are blown by the wind of emotions and fate. She begins to understand humanity more that humans are always wrong when Wrong, what I want most is a new beginning, giving and forgiveness especially - from our loved ones.

It's not strange that when we grow up, we can forgive people easier. Not that we are kinder, but because we have been wrong. We are more sympathy for those who do wrong. See from our own corner, we know that father's words are true. " no one is perfect but at least there is something right

In some times of relationship, we may have to try this glasses to check that the person we feel bad about him. Does wrong in our eyes. Does anything " do right

As well, in our lives, in a dark condition that we have made before feeling worse about ourselves than we are. Should check if we have "right" things in the same.

...

While watching the lives of two father and children stay away. I don't feel that what they did was wrong or should forgive them all. At least their lives show that humans are like this. We may do wrong some time but no one is bad. Looking at a human friend like this makes us see the truth of man rather than to expect the ideal goodness. If that person does wrong, then we will curse him as a demon or evil, angry, hate that we don't want to see each other again.

That should not be. There is a simple reason.

Because I'm wrong or today or next day

And we need the same perspective for ourselves. Please look at me as human beings. There is good, bad, there is right, wrong, but always need is love, understanding and forgive each other.

...

The movie ended with a scene where Molly had an accident from the back of the surgery. She could see if she got up, but then she stood up again with the same father she hated so much. Again.

Traumatized, full body wound but got up and walked on.

She said the one thing she always had was " the spirit of never giving up

Which I believe - she got this from dadTranslated

［翻轉視界 8］逃離禁錮之地：離開北韓我學會自由與憐憫
　
“If you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.” —— human rights activist Yeonmi Park。
　
「如果你不知道某些詞彙，那就意味著你並不了解某些概念，因此你也不會意識到，那些概念可以是一種可能。」——人權鬥士朴延美
　
對出逃前的她而言，自由與溫飽是很奢侈的理念，更無法了解「愛」的全貌。當我們無法得知世界發生了什麼，無法想像那超越自身認知的世界，我們便無法真正地同理他人。今天我想邀請大家，以不同的角度，重新感受自由、溫飽與愛的可貴。
　
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I was born in 1993 in the northern part of North Korea, in a town called Hyesan, which is on the border with China. I had loving parents and one older sister. Before I was even 10 years old, my father was sent to a labor camp for engaging in illegal trading. Now, by "illegal trading" -- he was selling clogs, sugar, rice and later copper to feed us. In 2007, my sister and I decided to escape. She was 16 years old, and I was 13 years old.
　
1. on the border with 鄰近邊界
2. labor camp 勞改營
3. illegal trading 非法的交易
　
１９９３年我出生在北韓的北部，一個名叫惠山的小鎮，鄰近中國邊界。我有愛我的父母與一位姐姐。在我１０歲大的時候，父親就被送去勞改營，因為他非法買賣一些東西。所謂的非法買賣，其實他是賣一些木鞋、糖、米，之後還賣了銅，只為了餵飽我們。２００７年，姐姐和我決定逃跑。她當時１６歲，而我１３歲。
　
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I need you to understand what the word "escape" means in the context of North Korea. We were all starving, and hunger means death in North Korea. So it was the only option for us. I didn't even understand the concept of escape, but I could see the lights from China at night, and I wondered if I go where the light is, I might be able to find a bowl of rice. It's not like we had a grand plan or maps. We did not know anything about what was going to happen. Imagine your apartment building caught fire. I mean, what would you do? Would you stay there to be burned, or would you jump off out of the window and see what happens? That's what we did. We jumped out of the house instead of the fire.
　
4. in the context of 在⋯⋯的情境中
5. concept 概念；觀念；思想
6. a grand plan 一個遠大的計畫
7. catch fire 著火
　
你們要知道，「逃跑」這兩字在北韓意味著什麼。我們天天挨餓，而飢餓在北韓意味著死亡。所以逃跑是我們唯一的選擇。我當時還不了解逃跑是什麼意思，但晚上我能看見中國那邊的燈光，我想著如果我能到有光的地方，也許就能找到一碗飯。我們沒有什麼遠大的計畫或地圖。我們完全不知道，接下來會發生什麼事。想像一下，你的公寓失火了，你會怎麼辦？你會坐以待斃，還是跳窗然後再看著辦？我們就是那樣。我們從大樓上跳了下來， 而不是等火燒上來。
　
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North Korea is unimaginable. It's very hard for me when people ask me what it feels like to live there. To be honest, I tell you: you can't even imagine it. The words in any language can't describe, because it's a totally different planet, as you cannot imagine your life on Mars right now. For example, the word "love" has only one meaning: love for the Dear Leader. There's no concept of romantic love in North Korea. And if you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.
　
8. unimaginable 無法想像
9. no concept of... 沒有⋯的概念
10. romantic love 浪漫愛
　
北韓是難以想像的。對我來說，要回答住在北韓是什麼感覺，非常困難。老實說，我可以告訴各位——你無從想像。沒有任何語言可以描述，因為那是個截然不同的星球，就像你現在無法想像自己在火星上的生活一樣。比如說，「愛」只有一個意思：愛偉大的領袖。在北韓沒有那種浪漫之愛的概念。如果你不知道某些詞彙，那就意味著你並不了解某些概念，因此你也不會意識到，那些概念可以是一種可能。
　
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Let me give you another example. Growing up in North Korea, we truly believed that our Dear Leader is an almighty god who can even read my thoughts. I was even afraid to think in North Korea. We are told that he's starving for us, and he's working tirelessly for us, and my heart just broke for him. When I escaped to South Korea, people told me that he was actually a dictator, he had cars, many, many resorts, and he had an ultraluxurious life. And then I remember looking at a picture of him, realizing for the first time that he is the largest guy in the picture. And it hit me. Finally, I realized he wasn't starving. But I was never able to see that before, until someone told me that he was fat.
　
11. an almighty god 一個全能的神
12. tirelessly 不屈不撓地；堅忍地
13. a dictator 獨裁者
14. it hit me 突然想到、意識到 
15. resort 度假地（此處係指北韓獨裁者有很多度假別墅）
16. ultraluxurious 極其奢華的
17. have a…life 過著⋯⋯的生活
　
讓我再舉一個例子。在北韓長大，我們真心相信我們偉大的領袖是全能的神，他甚至能看穿我在想什麼。我在北韓甚至不敢思考。我們聽說他為我們挨餓、不眠不休地為我們工作，而我為此感到心痛。我逃到南韓後，有人跟我說他其實是獨裁者，他有很多車、很多很多渡假別墅，他的生活極為奢華。我記得自己看著一張有他的照片，第一次意識到他是照片裡體型最大的那個。這件事讓我大受打擊。那時我才終於了解，他沒有挨餓。但我以前總無法看清這些，直到有人跟我說他很胖，我才恍然大悟。
　
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Really, someone had to teach me that he was fat. If you have never practiced critical thinking, then you simply see what you're told to see. The biggest question also people ask me is: "Why is there no revolution inside North Korea? Are we dumb? Why is there no revolution for 70 years of this oppression?" And I say: If you don't know you're a slave, if you don't know you're isolated or oppressed, how do you fight to be free? I mean, if you know you're isolated, that means you are not isolated. Not knowing is the true definition of isolation, and that's why I never knew I was isolated when I was in North Korea. I literally thought I was in the center of the universe.
　
18. critical thinking 批判性思考
19. revolution 革命
20. dumb 愚蠢的*
21. oppression 壓迫；壓制；欺壓
22. isolated and oppressed 與世隔絕的與被壓迫的
　
真的，要有人教我，他這樣叫做胖。如果你沒學過批判性思考，你看到的就只會是別人跟你說的。其他人對我提出的大哉問還有：「為何北韓沒有革命？我們傻嗎？為何歷經７０年的壓迫，卻沒人發動革命？」我回答：「如果你不知道自己是奴隸，不知道自己被與世隔絕、壓迫，你要如何為自由而戰？我的意思是，如果你知道自己被與世隔絕，那就表示你並非真的與世隔絕。與世隔絕的真正定義是無知，所以我從不知道，在北韓的我與世隔絕。我真的以為我們是宇宙的中心。

*dumb: https://bit.ly/3fG5XOk
　
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So here is my idea worth spreading: a lot of people think humans inherently know what is right and wrong, the difference between justice and injustice, what we deserve and we don't deserve. I tell them: BS. Everything, everything must be taught, including compassion. If I see someone dying on the street right now, I will do anything to save that person. But when I was in North Korea, I saw people dying and dead on the streets. I felt nothing. Not because I'm a psychopath, but because I never learned the concept of compassion. Only, I felt compassion, empathy and sympathy in my heart after I learned the word "compassion" and the concept, and I feel them now.
　
23. inherently 與生俱來地
24. justice and injustice 正義與不義
25. psychopath 精神病患者
26. compassion, empathy and sympathy 憐憫、同理與同情*
　
我覺得值得分享的想法是：很多人以為，人類生來就能分辨是非對錯，懂得正義與邪惡的差別，我們值得被怎樣對待。我跟他們說：放屁。所有的事，所有的事都得經過教導，包含憐憫。如果我現在看見有人在路邊奄奄一息，我會不顧一切來救他。但我在北韓的時候，會眼睜睜看著有人橫死街頭，卻沒有任何感覺。並非因為我是心理病態，而是我從未學過憐憫的概念。只有在我的內心感受到憐憫、同理與同情，我才學會「憐憫」一詞與其概念，而如今我已能感受到這些。
　
*compassion: a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them

empathy: the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation

sympathy: (an expression of) understanding and care for someone else's suffering
　
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Now I live in the United States as a free person.
　
現在我以自由人的身分住在美國。
　
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And recently, the leader of the free country, our President Trump, met with my former god. And he decided human rights is not important enough to include in his agendas, and he did not talk about it. And it scares me. We live in a world right now where a dictator can be praised for executing his uncle, for killing his half brother, killing thousands of North Koreans. And that was worthy of praise. And also it made me think: perhaps we all need to be taught something new about freedom now. Freedom is fragile. I don't want to alarm you, but it is. It only took three generations to make North Korea into George Orwell's "1984." It took only three generations. If we don't fight for human rights for the people who are oppressed right now who don't have a voice, as free people here, who will fight for us when we are not free? Machines? Animals? I don't know.
　
27. agenda 議程
28. be praised for 因⋯⋯獲得讚揚
29. execute (v.) 處決
30. worthy of sth 適合某物或具有某物的特徵
31. fragile 脆弱
　
最近，自由國度的領袖，我們的川普總統，和我以前的神會面。他認定，人權沒那麼重要，不需排進議程中，所以對此他隻字不提。這嚇壞我了。我們竟身在一個獨裁者處決伯父還能獲得讚揚的世界裡，他殺害同父異母的哥哥、殺害成千上萬的北韓人民，竟還能得到讚揚。這不禁使我開始思考，也許我們現在都要學習自由的新涵義。自由很脆弱。我不想嚇你，但事實如此。短短三個世代，就讓北韓淪為喬治．歐威爾筆下的《１９８４》。只花了三個世代。如果我們不為人權而戰，不為受壓迫、不為無法發聲的人而戰，當身為自由人的我們不自由時，誰還願意為我們而戰？機器嗎？動物嗎？我不知道。
　
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I think it's wonderful that we care about climate change, animal rights, gender equality, all of these things. The fact that we care about animals' rights, that means that's how beautiful our heart is, that we care about someone who cannot speak for themselves. And North Koreans right now cannot speak for themselves. They don't have internet in the 21st century. We don't have electricity, and it is the darkest place on earth right now. Now I want to say something to my fellow North Koreans who are living in that darkness. They might not believe this, but I want to tell them that an alternative life is possible. Be free.
　
32. speak for oneself 為某人發聲
33. alternative life 另一種生活
　
我覺得我們能關心氣候變遷、動物權益、性別平等諸如此類之事，真的很美好。因為，我們關心動物權益，就代表了我們的心地有多善良，也代表我們關心無法為自己發聲的對象。北韓人民現在無法為自己發聲。身處２１世紀的他們，沒有網路可用。我們沒有電，那裡是當今地球上最暗的地方。現在我想告訴那些生活在北韓黑暗中的同胞。也許他們不會相信我，但我想告訴他們，生命仍有其他可能——意即自由的生活。
　
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From my experience, literally anything is possible. I was bought, I was sold as a slave. But now I'm here, and that is why I believe in miracles. The one thing that I learned from history is that nothing is forever in this world. And that is why we have every reason to be hopeful. Thank you.
　
34. slave 奴隸
35. miracle 奇蹟
　
就我的經驗，真的什麼事都有可能發生。我被人買走，賣給別人當奴隸。但我現在在這裡，這也就是為什麼我相信奇蹟。我從歷史上學到的一件事，就是世上沒有什麼是永恆的。而這也是我們無論如何都能懷有希望的原因。謝謝大家。
　
資訊出處：https://bit.ly/32p5HiK
　
圖片出處：https://bit.ly/32n2zEe
　
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如何增進同理心：https://bit.ly/34qSKnC
　
#ChangingPerspectives
#翻轉視界

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翻轉視界系列文章: https://bit.ly/3fPvKUs

An incredibly beautiful, sad, brave, wise, inspiring post by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Early this year, I read her book 'Lean In', a book encouraging women to achieve their dreams and ambitions, and was so grateful it was written for such a time as this. I especially loved her chapter about David being so supportive of her. I'm still stunned by all that's happened to them.

Here's to beating the heck out of Option B.

Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband—the first thirty days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be resumed, but it is the end of sheloshim that marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse.

A childhood friend of mine who is now a rabbi recently told me that the most powerful one-line prayer he has ever read is: “Let me not die while I am still alive.” I would have never understood that prayer before losing Dave. Now I do.

I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. These past thirty days, I have spent many of my moments lost in that void. And I know that many future moments will be consumed by the vast emptiness as well.

But when I can, I want to choose life and meaning.

And this is why I am writing: to mark the end of sheloshim and to give back some of what others have given to me. While the experience of grief is profoundly personal, the bravery of those who have shared their own experiences has helped pull me through. Some who opened their hearts were my closest friends. Others were total strangers who have shared wisdom and advice publicly. So I am sharing what I have learned in the hope that it helps someone else. In the hope that there can be some meaning from this tragedy.

I have lived thirty years in these thirty days. I am thirty years sadder. I feel like I am thirty years wiser.

I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony I feel when my children scream and cry and from the connection my mother has to my pain. She has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep. She has fought to hold back her own tears to make room for mine. She has explained to me that the anguish I am feeling is both my own and my children’s, and I understood that she was right as I saw the pain in her own eyes.

I have learned that I never really knew what to say to others in need. I think I got this all wrong before; I tried to assure people that it would be okay, thinking that hope was the most comforting thing I could offer. A friend of mine with late-stage cancer told me that the worst thing people could say to him was “It is going to be okay.” That voice in his head would scream, How do you know it is going to be okay? Do you not understand that I might die? I learned this past month what he was trying to teach me. Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not. When people say to me, “You and your children will find happiness again,” my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the truth. Even a simple “How are you?”—almost always asked with the best of intentions—is better replaced with “How are you today?” When I am asked “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.

I have learned some practical stuff that matters. Although we now know that Dave died immediately, I didn’t know that in the ambulance. The trip to the hospital was unbearably slow. I still hate every car that did not move to the side, every person who cared more about arriving at their destination a few minutes earlier than making room for us to pass. I have noticed this while driving in many countries and cities. Let’s all move out of the way. Someone’s parent or partner or child might depend on it.

I have learned how ephemeral everything can feel—and maybe everything is. That whatever rug you are standing on can be pulled right out from under you with absolutely no warning. In the last thirty days, I have heard from too many women who lost a spouse and then had multiple rugs pulled out from under them. Some lack support networks and struggle alone as they face emotional distress and financial insecurity. It seems so wrong to me that we abandon these women and their families when they are in greatest need.

I have learned to ask for help—and I have learned how much help I need. Until now, I have been the older sister, the COO, the doer and the planner. I did not plan this, and when it happened, I was not capable of doing much of anything. Those closest to me took over. They planned. They arranged. They told me where to sit and reminded me to eat. They are still doing so much to support me and my children.

I have learned that resilience can be learned. Adam M. Grant taught me that three things are critical to resilience and that I can work on all three. Personalization—realizing it is not my fault. He told me to ban the word “sorry.” To tell myself over and over, This is not my fault. Permanence—remembering that I won’t feel like this forever. This will get better. Pervasiveness—this does not have to affect every area of my life; the ability to compartmentalize is healthy.

For me, starting the transition back to work has been a savior, a chance to feel useful and connected. But I quickly discovered that even those connections had changed. Many of my co-workers had a look of fear in their eyes as I approached. I knew why—they wanted to help but weren’t sure how. Should I mention it? Should I not mention it? If I mention it, what the hell do I say? I realized that to restore that closeness with my colleagues that has always been so important to me, I needed to let them in. And that meant being more open and vulnerable than I ever wanted to be. I told those I work with most closely that they could ask me their honest questions and I would answer. I also said it was okay for them to talk about how they felt. One colleague admitted she’d been driving by my house frequently, not sure if she should come in. Another said he was paralyzed when I was around, worried he might say the wrong thing. Speaking openly replaced the fear of doing and saying the wrong thing. One of my favorite cartoons of all time has an elephant in a room answering the phone, saying, “It’s the elephant.” Once I addressed the elephant, we were able to kick him out of the room.

At the same time, there are moments when I can’t let people in. I went to Portfolio Night at school where kids show their parents around the classroom to look at their work hung on the walls. So many of the parents—all of whom have been so kind—tried to make eye contact or say something they thought would be comforting. I looked down the entire time so no one could catch my eye for fear of breaking down. I hope they understood.

I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before—like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted. When a friend told me that he hates birthdays and so he was not celebrating his, I looked at him and said through tears, “Celebrate your birthday, goddammit. You are lucky to have each one.” My next birthday will be depressing as hell, but I am determined to celebrate it in my heart more than I have ever celebrated a birthday before.

I am truly grateful to the many who have offered their sympathy. A colleague told me that his wife, whom I have never met, decided to show her support by going back to school to get her degree—something she had been putting off for years. Yes! When the circumstances allow, I believe as much as ever in leaning in. And so many men—from those I know well to those I will likely never know—are honoring Dave’s life by spending more time with their families.

I can’t even express the gratitude I feel to my family and friends who have done so much and reassured me that they will continue to be there. In the brutal moments when I am overtaken by the void, when the months and years stretch out in front of me endless and empty, only their faces pull me out of the isolation and fear. My appreciation for them knows no bounds.

I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” He put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”

Dave, to honor your memory and raise your children as they deserve to be raised, I promise to do all I can to kick the shit out of option B. And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A. As Bono sang, “There is no end to grief . . . and there is no end to love.” I love you, Dave.