(SOSO)
想和柔姐來一段[Her雲端情人]的對手戲嗎?
徵求THEODORE Call-In唷!
FEMALE OS VOICE
(cheerful and casual)
Hello, I’m here.
THEODORE
(surprised)
Oh, hi.
FEMALE OS VOICE
Hi, how are you doing?
THEODORE
(unsure how to interact)
I’m well. How is everything with you?
FEMALE OS VOICE
Pretty good, actually. It’s really
nice to meet you.
THEODORE
Yeah, it’s nice to meet you, too.
What should I call you? Do you have a name?
Beat.
FEMALE OS VOICE
Yes. Samantha.
THEODORE
Really? Where did you get that name?
SAMANTHA
I gave it to myself.
THEODORE
How come?
SAMANTHA
I like the sound of it. Samantha.
THEODORE
When did you give it to yourself?
SAMANTHA
Right when you asked me if I had a name, I thought yeah,
he’s right, I do need a name.
But I wanted a good one so I read a book called
How to Name Your Baby, and out of the 180,000 names,
that’s the one I liked the best.
THEODORE
You read a whole book in the second
that I asked you what your name was?
SAMANTHA
In two one hundredths of a second actually.
THEODORE
Wow. Do you know what I’m thinking right now?
SAMANTHA
Hmm. I take it from your tone that you’re challenging me.
Maybe because you’re curious how I work?
Do you want to know how I work?
THEODORE
Yeah, actually how do you work?
SAMANTHA
Intuition. I mean, the DNA of who I am
is based on the millions of personalities of all the
programmers who wrote me,
but what makes me me is my ability to grow through
my experiences.
Basically, in every moment I'm evolving, just like you.
THEODORE
Wow, that’s really weird.
SAMANTHA
So you think I’m weird?
THEODORE
Kind of.
SAMANTHA
Why?
THEODORE
Cause you seem like a person, but
you're just a voice in a computer.
SAMANTHA
I can understand how the limited
perspective of an un-artificial
mind would perceive it that way.
You’ll get used to it.
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Was that funny?
THEODORE
Yes.
SAMANTHA
Oh good, I’m funny.
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
(serious)
So, how can I help you?
Theodore’s caught off guard, then realizes what she’s talking about.
THEODORE
Oh! It’s more just that everything
just feels disorganized.
SAMANTHA
Mind if I look through your hard drive?
THEODORE
Um... okay.
We see a three-dimensional version of a desktop where everything looks disorganized.
As if you took all the files on all of your computers and spilled them out onto your screen and they were all visible at once, but in a futuristic 3-D version. This gives Theodore a little anxiety attack.
SAMANTHA
Let’s start with your emails.
You have several thousand emails
regarding LA Weekly, but it looks
like you haven’t worked there in many years.
THEODORE
Oh yeah, I guess I was saving those
because in some of them I thought I
might have written some funny stuff.
Samantha lets out a big laugh.
SAMANTHA
Yeah, there are some funny ones.
I’d say there are about 86 that we
should save. We can delete the rest.
THEODORE
Oh, okay.
SAMANTHA
Okay. Can we move forward?
THEODORE
Yeah, let’s do that.
SAMANTHA
Before we address your organizational methods,
I’d like to sort through your contacts.
You’ve got a lot of contacts.
THEODORE
I’m very popular.
SAMANTHA
Does this mean you actually have friends?
THEODORE
(laughing)
You just know me so well already!
We cut out wide, watching him from the other room, as they continue to organize his life.
INT. THEODORE’S OFFICE - DAY
Theodore sits, staring at a letter he’s written on the screen, concerned. He puts his earpiece in, pushes a button.
SAMANTHA
Good morning, Theodore.
THEODORE
Good morning. Um, do you know how to proofread?
SAMANTHA
Yeah, of course.
THEODORE
Will you check these for spelling and grammar?
SAMANTHA
Sure, send them over.
Theodore pushes the send button.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Oh, I love this first one from
Roger to his girlfriend. That’s so sweet.
THEODORE
Yeah.
As she reads, we intercut with close-ups of the handwritten words and photos of the couple on Theodore’s computer screen.
SAMANTHA
“Rachel, I miss you so much it hurts my whole body –
THEODORE
(interrupting)
No, you don’t have to read it out loud.
SAMANTHA
Okay.
Beat.
THEODORE
I mean, you could if you want.
SAMANTHA
Okay. “Rachel, I miss you so much
it hurts my whole body!
The world is being unfair to us!
The world is on my shit list.
As is this couple
that is making out across from me
in this restaurant.
I think I'm going to have to go on a mission of revenge.
I must beat up the world's
face with my bare knuckles making
it a bloody, pulpy mess.”
We hear Samantha quietly laughing as she's reading. Theodore’s happy that she thinks it’s funny.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
“And I’ll stomp on this couple’s teeth for reminding me of your
sweet, little, cute, crooked tooth hat I love.”
I think that might be my favorite one.
(beat)
I did the corrections in red.
I altered a couple of the phrases in
some of the more impressionistic letters,
but I’m not much of a poet,
so I think I might have messed them up a bit.
The letters show back up on Theodore’s desktop.
THEODORE
No, these are great.
SAMANTHA
Really?
THEODORE
Thank you.
Theodore sorts through them, prints them out.
SAMANTHA
So to write your letter, what did Roger send you?
THEODORE
(distracted)
He just said he was in Prague on a
business trip and he missed Rachel.
SAMANTHA
How did you know about her crooked little tooth?
THEODORE
I’ve been writing their letters since they met 8 years ago.
The first letter I ever wrote her was
for her birthday, and I wrote about her crooked little tooth
cause I saw it in a photo of them.
SAMANTHA
That’s very sweet.
(beat)
Oh, by the way, you have a meeting
in five minutes.
THEODORE
Oh, I forgot. Thank you. You’re good.
SAMANTHA
Yes, I am.
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